[Critique Group 2] Leonard's comments on Joan's June sub.

[tuchyner5 at aol.com]

Powerful piece about life in an old-ageinstitution. 




 


The narrator seems cognitively okay. But that isprobably not a blessing under the circumstances.  




 


There are so many ways in which she is isolated,yet able to feel the barriers acutely. 




 


It is very somber. Very powerful. Veryfrightening.




 



 


I can’t see over thewall that separates us



The wall between thehome for the aged 



and everyone else



Right away  you setthe mood of isolation. Powerful beginning.




 


But I hear things



And it sounds likethings are happening



Like a kind of lifegoes on



The knowledge  thatlife goes on without her only intensifies the feeling of being walled off.




 


The loudest voicesare those of the attendants



Taking their breaksevery few hours



Smoking theirforbidden cigarettes and whooping it up



I notice that the word ‘attendants’ is used rather thancaregivers. 




 


These attendants don’t seem like those who are a bridgebetween the forgotten and the living world. 




 


They  are likebirds that can fly free when their labors are finished for the period. 




 


There is a strong sense of resentment here.




 


About their livesoutside this place



The place behind thewall



The wall I can’t seepast




 


Even after dark Ihear them talking and laughing



Not quite whoopingbut still smoking



The attendants whokeep time so  faithfully for themselves



These attendants could be friends if they wanted to be.  But they don’t want to be .  




 


They are maintenance people who might as well beguards.  They don’t have any time for theresidents.




 


the residents have their schedules too



I hear the foodtrucks every Tuesday morning



Deliveries of freshmeats and vegetables and frozen goods



These are some things that do provide some kind ofconnection  with the outer world. 




 


They become a high point in dailey life and can bring messages of food tolook forward to. 




 


But again, I’m not sure if they intensify the feeling ofisolation.




 


And occasionally



the aroma of beefstew with onions and mushrooms wafts my way



Intermingled withthe cigarette smoke



The cigarette smoke is mentioned  many times. It holds  special significance.  




 


I wonder whether the narrator is saying, “You too  will someday be in this kind of place. Seehow you like it. The smoking wil bring it sooner than you think.




 


Or I wake up wantingbacon for breakfast



Because I can smellwhat’s for breakfast behind the wall



Even if I can’t seepast it




 


There  Is abitter sweet connection with the sounds and other sensations with the outsideworld.  




 


The narrator seems to get some possitives withthese connections . They   bring somecolor and experience  to her life.  They are real connections. 




 


But they are still at a distance.




 


And I hear the buson Sundays



Taking some lucky residents shopping or to church perhaps



I can’t tell wherethey go



So even within the institution she is cut offf from the other residents. 




 


She seems limited to her room with no chance ofescape at any time. 




 


I can only imaginewhere they might go



Where they arepermitted to go



Because I can’t getpast the wall



Apparently, she can’t talk to them to find out?




 


Sometimes I hearthings from the  upper rooms



Voices on thetelevision turned up extremely loud



As if the residentcan barely hear anything



It sounds like she may be in the intensive caresection of a facility. 




 


The most restricted of so called residents.




 


Outside his own head



Beyond his ownthoughts and longing



As if even insidethe building there are walls




 


And sometimes thevery loud television becomes oddly silent again



As if the walls werebreached



And finally someonemade it over the top and into the building



Would that mean the  less restricted ressidents got a visitor andturned off the TV?




 


Up the stairs and into the tiny curtained room



Does the tiny curtained room indicate that this is ashared room in which the residents can draw a curtain around their beds forprivacy from their room mate or visitors?




 


Someone with abasket of flowers and a crown of stars



With  his own schedule to keep



Even the occasionally thoughtful visitor  doesn’t havetime   for the forgotten. Time here isalso a wall.




 


  



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