[Critique Group 2] Leonard's comments re: Val's piece

[tuchyner5 at aol.com]

As  usuall, powerful and compassionate.  



The reader isgrabbed immediately by the image of the prostitute.   



She is not labeledas such, but the description leaves little doubt.   



The story is toldthrough the eyes of  a child who retainssome childhood innocents.  



There is nojudgement there, 



and this readerdoes not know whether the 15 year old narrator knos what a prostitute is.  



She is onlysensitive to her humanity and pain.  



However, it is theadult  writer, with a more worldly view,who speaks for the  15 year old. 



So bothperspectives are there. 




 


Girl On A Corner



Good title. 



No judgement there. 



It doesn’t say woman on a corner. 



Even though the age is not known,  the titleindicates this is a young, lost girl.




 



 


At 15, my parentsdecided to take



a weekend tour toWashington, D.C.




 


We saw theCapitol, Lincoln Memorial and White House.




 


A cold windbuffeted us as we crossed a wide street.




 


She stood on thecorner, staring blankly,



herdishwater-blonde hair lifting 



off her bareshouldered body suit of hot pink. 



Terrific description. 



A trementous amount of information is there  ina very small  space. 




 


We made a widearc around her as did others.




 


I gazed at herflying yellow hair as 



she shivered inher flimsy clothes and understood.



This is such a tear breaking  description. 



The prime phrase here is, “She understood.” 



I see a wounded soul who accepts her role asdamaged goods. 



Not a part of normal society.




 


Who was she? Didshe have a pretty name?



How old was sheand had she eaten that day?



Gazing back ather there on a corner,



I felt sorrow asmom yanked me away.



The young teenager sees the girl on the corner as a human being in a painful, unfortunatecircumstance. There is no blame or judgement. 



There is only compassion.




 


She was a doll offate and circumstance,



The word ‘doll’ is powerful. 



The word recognizes the dehumanization of thegirl.



a silent reminderthat not everyone



lived a life offortunate freedom.



This is the adult looking back, appraising thesocietal realities.   



One thing I wonder is whether the 15 year old orthe adult, through her own life experiences, has the greater compassion  and understanding.  



Does innocence protect us, to some degree, fromharsh reality?




 


Really great piece. Kudos. 




 



 

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