[Critique Group 2] Leonard's comments re: Val

[tuchyner5 at aol.com]

After strugglingwith this piece, I came to love it.  Itbrought this reader into the emotional realities of an experience and of thesensory perceptions of a blind person trying to make a flat drawing look likewhat her senses were experiencing.  Ilove the fact that the student cherished her creation, dispite what theauthority figure told her. The student had a deeper understanding of the pumkindrawings beauty and was going to cherish it . There are areas described below  that at first reading caused a littleconfusion. But they don’t diminish the overall impact of the piece. 




 


Poor Little Pumpkin


 


Seventh grade afternoon Art--

using tracing paper against windows,

How does thatwork?




 


I was happy to participate like 

the other kids with my 

low vision.

This is a littleunclear.  I’m pretty sure you mean thatyou were the only low visioned kid in the class, but the sentence structure canbe interpreted as saying all the kids were low visioned. 




 


Slowly, a pumpkin took shape--

at my desk, I colored it orange,

deciding to use black for 

the evenly spaced 

creases I'd felt on the soft skin.

Are you feelingthe tracing or the actual pumpkin?



I’m sure, afterhaving read the whole piece, that you were feeling the real thing. What youfailed to realize was that to make the painting look like a real pumpkin, youhad to make the spaces closer and closer together to give it 3 dimentionalperspective. As the creases went further and further to the side, the spaceshad to be made closer and closer together until  they disappeared over thepumpkin’s horizon as seen from n equators perspective.




 


A week later, I got it back

marked "F, poor work, pumpkins don't 

look like this."

Did she know youwere low visioned? If she did, she is not a very good teacher or person, unlessignorance is an excuse.




 


Yes, they did!

Using fingers, the sections were 

perfect, beautiful!

I think Iunderstand, but I’m not sure. A picture is on a flat surface and you need goodvision to make objects look like they are 3 dimentional. When you measured outwhere the creases should go on the drawing, it was like comparing a flat map ofthe world to the real thing. The globe does not look like a flat map. 




 


I chose "Fine" for the

meaning of that "F" grade,

Meaning that youdidn’t argue with the failed teacher. GBut you were convinced your picture wasan accurate likeness of a pumpkin.




 


tucking my pumpkin drawing in my 

heart for safe keeping.

Actually, thepumpkin drawing was beautiful. It just depends on perspective. The teachershould have understood  the perspectiveof a low visioned  fledgling artist. Shehad no business teaching art to you.




 



 



 



 

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