[Critique Group 2] 242-word poem for June 28

[Alice Massa]

NOTE:Instead of "Summery Abecedarian," I decided to submit the following 
for June 28.Despite the first line of this poem, this piece is not a 
Christmas poem.When you have time, please read the ending note after the 
conclusion of the poem and after its length numbers.Thanks!

*A Cascade of Camels*

poem by Alice Jane-Marie Massa

Near the end of the Milwaukee Christmas Parade,

the much awaited camels came.

Facing my large window on Kilbourn Ave.,

I encourage my guide dog to watch for the camels.

Typical of her breed and demeanor,

my third Leader Dog, Zoe,

lifts her paw and points or waves.

Surely, she is right

because the television broadcast confirms

the live camels are coming in sight.

These graceful camels click a photograph in my mind:

the hot summer memory of my younger nephew and me,

perched upon a soft camel

at the Indianapolis Zoo.

Who would have guessed?Who would imagine

That little Eric would someday ride a rhythmical camel

on the lonely desert of Kuwait

while waiting to fly

into the midnight of Iraq

on Christmas Eve?

He fell off the wild camel,

but landed safely in war-torn Bagdad.

Eleven months later,

my nephew came back

home, sweet whole:

wiser and well—

as strong and tall as a camel.

An Army Ranger, veteran of Afghanistan also,

still serving in the National Guard,

now a husband and daddy--

Eric takes his five-year-old daughter

and his two-year-old son

to the zoo to see the camels.

"Look, Daddy!" shouts Caden.

Keenly observant since childhood,

Eric has seen so much--

much more

midst this cascade of camels.

I wish for him,

his children,

and the world--

a greater peace

than Eric saw and holds

in his memory

as he holds

his precious children.

number of words:242

number of poetic lines: 46

In a continuing effort to revise most of the poems which I wrote for the 
Hadley (now) Institute course, I, in a much more time-consuming fashion, 
revised the above poem, including adding two final stanzas, on June 
20-21, 2018.Originally written after four o’clock to 4:40 p.m., December 
3, 2011 (Saturday), and initially Revised on December 4, 2011, 2:40-3:00 
p.m.--this poem was a result of my completing Number six of assignment 
two of Hadley’s Elements of Poetry course (then taught by the author and 
former actor Geraldine Lawhorn who was both deaf and blind and who had 
been an instructor at Hadley for many years before her retirement and 
relatively recent passing).

--end--


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