[Critique Group 2] Emailing: Group 2 6-27-17 critique session

[James]

Group 2-Critique Session 6-27-17

1. Valerie's piece:

An incredibly powerful, highly personal piece. The frustration growing into
sorrowful panic when searching for the softball and hiding under the blanket
are feelings that I have known, all be it under different circumstances. The
evolution from "I had no tears, numbing, coarse sadness for a dad" to
"Twenty years on, grief came in
looming, unyielding waves, crashing through rocks of fury, heartbreak and
sorrow, leaving a clean place for you in my heart. Rest there comfortably,
shadows move away as I now sing to you" is so illustrative of how feelings
change with age and maturity. It is so moving how the poem begins with dad
singing to daughter and ends with daughter singing to dad. Each time I
reread this poem, I am more deeply affected!

***

2. Leonard's Piece:
A deeply reflective thought exploration of issues we all will face as we
continue to age. I am becoming more and more aware of how vital it is to
enjoy every day of good health, happy home ownership and good mobility. I
know it can't last forever. I tell my therapy clients that five years from
now won't at all necessarily feel like your life does now. Many people have
a hard time truly putting themselves in that mindset. As far as dying with
dignity, I couldn't be more in favor of it. I am watching my 95 year old dad
lose his hard won dignity and watched my mom's erode over a 3 year period
before she passed. Though I was saddened  by her loss, I also rejoiced in
her release. As Cindy Mangsen put it "she is free now as the air!" 

***

3. Alice's piece:

A just slightly bitter-sweet, beautifully written tribute to summer. Though
this is a heart felt song to the season, my favorite is the first stanza. I
too revere summer and even though my sojourns into it are often marred by
loud landscaping machinery as soon as I sit down and relax into the day's
embrace; I refuse to focus on that or anything negative about it! This
becomes more true each year I grow older. So whether it is construction,
annoying loud machines or the darkness of Donald Trump they'll not  take
summer away from me!  For no matter what, it is still beloved summer and for
me that is enough.

***

4. Abbie's piece: 

When I was a kid we had doubtlessly dangerous tree forts in the woods which
lay on either side of the small parkway that led to the famous Bethpage golf
course. I had to get a tetanus shot after scraping my leg on a rusty nail
but we all survived and only dear memories remain. This is an interesting
piece as it takes something that can be entrancing and magical and focuses
on the unfortunate reality that the ravages of time can impose. Though this
is silly and possibly highly unrealistic, my first thought was "have it
renovated as it would be so much more fun to write a poem of the little
one's joy of discovery." 
  
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Group 2 6-27-17 critique session


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