[Critique Group 2] My Fiction Submission for July 27th

[Abbie Taylor]

HEAVEN

A light illuminated the dilapidated barn. Was it the moon or the Star of 
David? Mary Ellen didn’t know or care.

The pain sliced through her, taking her breath away. Her stomach 
tightened, and her back ached. Gasping and crying out, she grabbed Bobby 
Joe’s hand. As the pain subsided, she said through clenched teeth, 
“Who’s crazy idea was this, giving birth in a barn?”

Bobby Joe wiped the sweat from her brow. “This wasn’t my idea. I tried 
to get you to the hospital. It’s not my fault the car ran out of gas.”

“I know.”

“You’re doing fine. When the Virgin Mary gave birth to Jesus in 
Bethlehem, she didn’t even have a midwife. If she can do it, so can you. 
Besides, you said yourself nine months ago that this baby was conceived 
by an Angel of the Lord. Maybe He’ll look out for you.”

“Very funny,” said Mary Ellen, as she remembered when she first 
discovered she was pregnant.

At sixteen, she was living with her father in Casper, Wyoming, and 
attending high school. Her grades were good. She participated in the 
concert choir, speech team, drama club, and cheer leading squad. At her 
father’s insistence, she was also involved with the Catholic Church’s 
youth group.

Although her father was against dating, she became involved with a boy. 
When she told him she was pregnant, he swore he wanted nothing to do 
with her or the baby. Since abortion was out of the question, she came 
up with a plan she thought would work.

“An Angel of the Lord came to me last night,” she told her father one 
morning at breakfast. “He told me that I have been chosen to give birth 
to the second Messiah.”

“What?” asked her father, glancing up from his newspaper.

“I’m going to give birth to a second Savior. The Angel said His name 
will be Jesus Christ II, and He will save the world.”

“Tell me this is another play you’re doing at school.”

“This is no play. I’m pregnant with the second Messiah.”

“Pregnant!” He threw aside his newspaper and glared at her. “Who’s the boy?”

“There’s no boy. The child was conceived by the Lord.”

“That’s the most ridiculous thing I ever heard! Go up to your room and 
stay there.”

Mary Ellen looked at her untouched plate of eggs and bacon. Since she 
was already feeling nauseated, she didn’t mind leaving it. As she rose 
to her feet, she asked, “What about school?”

“You’re not going to school today. Go upstairs. I don’t even want to see 
you.”

As she climbed the stairs, the nausea increased. Leaving the door to her 
room open, she flopped onto the bed. The nausea subsided. She waited to 
hear her father rinsing the dishes and putting them in the dish washer 
and the slamming of the back door, but there was only silence.

She finally pulled herself to her feet and descended the stairs. She 
stopped on the landing and looked down. Her father sat at the dining 
room table. The newspaper lay where he’d tossed it. He stared into 
space. “Dad, aren’t you going to the office today?”

He jumped and glowered at her. “Of course I’m not going to the office 
today. I need to figure out what to do with you. Get upstairs.”

Mary Ellen’s stomach heaved. In the bathroom, it all came out, the bile, 
the tears of desperation.

That afternoon, her father said, “Go live in sin with your cousin 
Agnes.” He handed her a one-way bus ticket to Sheridan, a smaller town 
approximately 150 miles north of Casper.

The bus wound its way east. After about an hour’s layover in Gillette, 
it headed west, pulling into Sheridan late that evening. She took a cab 
to Agnes’s address.

The house was white with green trim. The porch light was on, and a light 
shown in the front window. A nearby street lamp illuminated the area.

As she stood on the sidewalk, she was filled with a sense of foreboding. 
She’d only met her cousin once years ago when she was eight and Agnes 
was about ten years older. When Mary Ellen was fourteen, Agnes announced 
that she was a Lesbian and that she had a partner. The family refused to 
have anything more to do with her.

As Mary Ellen stood gazing at the house, she wondered what kind of 
people Agnes and her partner were. Would they invite her to engage in 
sexual activities? Would they force her? Her upbringing taught her that 
homosexuals were sinners. Was she a sinner?

Cold blasts of icy wind blew wet, heavy snowflakes that covered her in 
minutes. She shivered, despite the warmth of her winter coat. She pulled 
its hood over her head and tightened the strings. Clasping her hands in 
prayer, she murmured, “Heaven help me.”

A moon appeared, and the snow lessened. A car turned into the driveway 
of the house next door. A figure emerged from its interior and came 
toward her. She saw a boy about her age, tall and slim. Most of him was 
hidden by his winter coat and hat, but she liked his face. His blue eyes 
gazed at her with concern. “Are you lost?” he asked with a smooth, 
southern drawl.

“Not exactly,” she said. “I’m here to see my cousin, but I’m wondering 
if this is such a good idea.”

His eyebrows raised. “If you’re not sure you want to visit, why did you 
come?”

“Because I have nowhere else to go,” she answered, struggling to keep 
the tears from escaping. “My dad kicked me out because I’m pregnant. He 
told me to go live in sin with my cousin and her partner who are Lesbians.”

“Whoa. You know, Agnes and Kim aren’t so bad. I deliver their paper 
every day, and they’re actually very nice. Kim even gives me homemade 
cookies. They teach at the college.”

“Okay,” she said, feeling somewhat reassured.

“I’m Bobby Joe Harper. My family moved here from Alabama last year. My 
folks work for the veterans administration, and they were transferred 
here. What’s your name?”

“Mary Ellen Carson.”

The front door of Agnes and Kim’s house opened, and a woman appeared on 
the porch and called, “Hello there.”

“Hi Agnes,” Bobby Joe called. “I was just talking to your cousin.” With 
a wave, he hurried away.

With trepidation, Mary Ellen sauntered up the walk and climbed the steps 
to the front porch. “Look at you!” said Agnes with a broad grin, as she 
pulled the girl into her arms. “You were just a little thing when I last 
saw you.”

To her surprise, Mary Ellen found herself crying on her cousin’s 
shoulder. She hadn’t been comforted by another woman since her mother 
passed away three years earlier. “Let’s get you and that baby of yours 
inside before you both freeze to death.” With an arm around Mary Ellen, 
she guided her into the house. “Let’s get that coat off. Sit here, and 
I’ll get you some hot chocolate.”

Mary Ellen sank onto the couch, enveloped by the room’s warmth. Besides 
the sofa, there were two arm chairs. A coffee table stood in front of 
the couch, and end tables next to each arm chair. A book case dominated 
one corner. Another woman sat down next to her and took her hand. 
“Hello, you must be Mary Ellen. Agnes told me about you after your 
father called this afternoon. I’m so glad to meet you. I’m Kim.”

Mary Ellen smiled. She was reassured by Kim’s warm grip, as they shook 
hands.

When Agnes appeared with a tray, Mary Ellen was surprised to find that 
the two women looked alike. They could have been twins with their 
identical brown hair and blue eyes. “A penny for your thoughts,” said 
Agnes, as she handed Mary Ellen a steaming mug of cocoa and Kim a cup of 
coffee and settled herself on the couch on Mary Ellen’s other side with 
her own cup.

Mary Ellen turned to Kim. “Are you sure you’re not my cousin too? You 
guys look like sisters.”

Agnes laughed. “That’s one of the things that attracted us to each other.”

“Stewart had a cute birth mark on his nose,” Mary Ellen found herself 
saying about the father of her unborn child.

As tears threatened, Kim squeezed her hand. “I know, sweetie. People say 
they love you, then desert you when you need them the most. We’ll take 
care of you.”

“She’s right,” said Agnes, putting a hand on Mary Ellen’s shoulder. 
“We’ll stand behind you, no matter what you decide to do about the baby.”

“I don’t know what I’m going to do,” said Mary Ellen, as she gulped back 
tears.

“Kim and I have been trying to have a child of our own, but it’s not 
easy,” said Agnes. “Adoption can be a pain in the anatomy, and there’s 
no sperm bank here in Sheridan.”

Mary Ellen brightened. “I could give my baby to you and then go back 
home, couldn’t I?”

“I hate to say this, kid,” said Agnes. “but when I talked to your dad 
this afternoon, I got the impression he doesn’t want you darkening his 
door again.”

“You’re probably right,” said Mary Ellen, as tears threatened to fall. 
“What am I going to do? Where will I go?”

“Stay here with us,” said Kim, squeezing her hand. “We’ll raise the baby 
together. It’ll be the closest we’ll come to having a child of our own.”

Mary Ellen could no longer control the tears that cascaded down her 
cheeks. “I don’t know why you’re being so nice to me,” she said, as she 
buried her face in Agnes’s hair. “I’m not even a, um, Lesbian.”

“Family should stick together,” said Agnes. “Your religious beliefs and 
sexual orientation shouldn’t matter. Your family should stand by you, no 
matter what. It’s too bad our parents don’t realize that. We’re going to 
stick together, and to Hell with the rest of them.”

When Mary Ellen finally managed to dry her tears and blow her nose, she 
said, “Thanks, guys.”

“Of course, sweetie,” said Kim, patting her shoulder. “We wouldn’t have 
it any other way.”

Agnes wasted no time enrolling Mary Ellen in school. Bobby Joe drove her 
there and home every day, and they became friends.

Eight months later at Thanksgiving, they were standing on a swinging 
bridge a block away from where they lived. A moon illuminated the 
snow-covered creek bed. Bobby Joe removed Mary Ellen’s mitten. “What are 
you doing?” she asked with a giggle. “It’s cold out here.”

“I won’t let your fingers freeze,” said Bobby Joe, as he clasped her 
hand between his gloved ones. “I’ve got something for you.”

He reached into his pocket, and Mary Ellen gasped, as she felt a ring 
being placed on her finger. “It’s not much,” Bobby Joe said. “I bought 
it at a pawn shop, but it sure is pretty, isn’t it?”

Mary Ellen turned her hand this way and that until the ring was caught 
in the glow of moonlight. “Yes, it’s beautiful.”

“You know what it means, don’t you?”

“What it means?” Mary Ellen couldn’t believe what she was hearing. 
“Bobby Joe, are you asking me to marry you?”

“Of course, silly,” said Bobby Joe with a laugh.

“Why? You haven’t even slept with me.”

“That doesn’t matter. This kid needs a dad. I know yours wasn’t the 
greatest, but mine is, and I could be a good father and… I love you.”

Stunned, Mary Ellen gaped at him for a moment before saying, “I love you 
too, but what about Agnes and Kim? They want to help me raise the baby.”

“I know. They’re nice people, and they’ve been good to you, but this kid 
needs a mother and a father.”

Mary Ellen thought of her own childhood before her mother died. Because 
her parents were unable to have more children, they doted on her. After 
cancer took her mother unexpectedly, her father became more and more 
distant, and she felt more and more neglected. She realized that she 
wanted her baby to have the same happy childhood she had when her mother 
was alive.

When they returned home, they found Agnes and Kim drinking coffee with 
Bobby Joe’s parents in the Harpers’ living room. “Dad, Mom,” said Bobby 
Joe, taking Mary Ellen’s hand. “Mary Ellen and I have decided to get 
married.”

“What do you mean you guys are getting married?” said Agnes. “Kim and I 
thought we were going to help you raise the baby, Mary Ellen.”

“You guys could still baby-sit while we’re in school,” Mary Ellen said. 
“Maybe Bobby Joe and I could live with you until we find a place of our 
own.”

“You’re too young,” said Mr. Harper.

“I know,” said Bobby Joe. “but this kid needs a father, and I know I 
could be a good one like you, Dad.”

“I’m sure you can,” said Mrs. Harper. “Wanting to take responsibility 
for this child is admirable. Mary Ellen, you’re a good girl. It’s a 
shame this happened to you, but let’s not make any hasty decisions.”

“Hasty decisions,” said Bobby Joe. “I’ve known for months that I love 
Mary Ellen, and I want to marry her. I just now worked up the courage to 
ask her.”

“And I realized I love him too,” said Mary Ellen.

“Marriage is a big commitment,” said Mrs. Harper. “You two have your 
whole lives ahead of you and college to think about. As long as Agnes 
and Kim are willing to help with the baby, maybe you should wait.”

After a few minutes of interminable silence, Mr. Harper blew his nose 
and said, “Son, you can’t get married without our permission. Your 
mother’s right. Why don’t you wait a couple of years? If you still want 
to get married, you’ll have our blessing.”

In the minutes that followed, it occurred to Mary Ellen that they could 
run away, somehow get false identification cards, drive to Los Vegas, 
get married there, and start over somewhere else, but what about the 
baby? Bobby Joe interrupted her thoughts. “I suppose we could wait, 
couldn’t we, Mary Ellen?”

“I guess,” she answered.

Bobby Joe surprised her by pulling her into an embrace in front of 
everyone. “Mary Ellen, I promise I’ll still love you in two years.”

“I hope so,” she said, fighting back tears. ‘I’ll always love you.”

A month later as they were driving home on a little-used country road 
late on Christmas Eve, Mary Ellen said, “Bobby Joe, I think I’m in labor.”

“Okay,” said Bobby Joe. He pulled to the side of the road and reached 
for his cell phone. “I’ll call Agnes and have her meet us at the 
hospital. Oh shoot, my cell battery’s dead.”

“Oh God, I think my water just broke!”

“Just relax,” he said, taking her hand and surveying the surrounding 
landscape. A bright moon illuminated the newly fallen snow. “I think I 
see a house in the distance. We’ll go there and ask for help.”

He put the car in gear, and they soon pulled up in front of a 
broken-down house that looked deserted except for a light shining in a 
front window. “I don’t know about this,” Mary Ellen said, as Bobby Joe 
helped her from the car.

“Don’t worry. If no one’s home, the door might be unlocked. We can at 
least go in and use the phone to call 911.”

They climbed a rickety flight of snow-covered steps to a sagging porch. 
Bobby Joe banged on the screen door. Mary Ellen gazed at the little 
brown house. Its paint was peeling in places, and a nearby window 
sported a shattered pane.

She gaped at the man who opened the door. He wore nothing but white 
boxer shorts, and his hair was as white as the snow. He almost lost his 
balance, as he teetered in the doorway. She smelled alcohol on his 
breath mixed with the odor of his unwashed body.

“We need help,” Bobby Joe said. “My wife’s going to have a baby.”

The man stared at them in disbelief. His voice slurred as he spoke. 
“Sorry, buddy. There’s no room at the inn. You can use the stable around 
back if you want.” He slammed the door.

Back in the car, Bobby Joe tried to start the engine several times, but 
nothing happened. After glancing at the fuel gauge, he said, “We’re out 
of gas.”

“Oh, that’s just great,” Mary Ellen said, tears welling in her eyes. 
“Now what are we going to do?”

Bobby Joe took her hand. . “I think we’d better find that stable. We’re 
not going to make it to the hospital tonight.”

Now here she was, several hours later, lying on the hard cement floor in 
a deserted barn behind the house. “We could have made it to the hospital 
if you’d only made sure the car had a full tank of gas before we left 
town.”

“How was I to know you were going to give birth tonight of all nights? 
Besides, the pains seem to be getting closer together. It can’t be too 
much longer.”

Mary Ellen raised herself on one elbow and surveyed the dim interior. 
“What can we wrap the baby in? I don’t see any swaddling clothes, do you?”

“We’ll figure something out,” Bobby Joe said, as he eased her onto her 
back and wiped the sweat from her brow. “Maybe my sweatshirt will work.”

“You already gave me your coat as a cover,” she said, shivering and 
pulling the garment more tightly around her. “If you give the baby your 
sweatshirt, you’ll freeze to death. As a matter of fact, I may freeze to 
death before I have this stupid baby.”

“No you won’t,” Bobby Joe said, as he lay down beside her and took her 
in his arms. “I’ll keep you warm tonight. In the morning, the old man 
should be sober enough to help us.”

As they lay huddled together, she experienced more and more pains. Soon, 
they came one after another. He murmured soothing endearments, as she 
strained to bring forth whatever life was inside her.

After she pushed for the last time and heard the baby’s cries, she saw 
light and heard murmuring voices. Hands touched her. She was enveloped 
with a sense of peace.

-- 
Abbie Johnson Taylor, Author http://abbiescorner.wordpress.com
http://www.abbiejohnsontaylor.com
abbie at mysero.net
Order my new memoir at http://www.abbiejohnsontaylor.com/memoir.htm

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