[Critique Group 2] My Critiques for May 18th.

[Abbie Taylor]

Brad, in this line, “In the final analysis, There’s only” you have the 
word “there’s” capitalized. Since it’s in the middle of the line, you 
don’t need to capitalize it, and it looks odd. It could have been a 
mistake, but I thought I would point it out, anyway. Otherwise, I like 
the way the poem is a reflection of a life.

Leonard, although this poem is apparently meant to be free verse, I 
like the way you insert a rhyme here and there in this whimsical tale 
of two vegetables.

Valerie, at first, I thought this was about you being reunited in the 
hereafter with your husband, but when you said, “Mother!” I was thrown 
for a loop until the end of the poem when you said, “my son.” Instead 
of just plain Mother!” how about “’Mother,’ he said.” Otherwise, I like 
the way this poem depicts a bitter sweet reunion with your son.

Alice, not being familiar with Bedloe’s Island or Ms. Lazarys, I 
couldn’t relate to this poem. I suggest making it free verse to give 
you leeway for some clarification.

-- 
Abbie Johnson Taylor, Author http://abbiescorner.wordpress.com
http://www.abbiejohnsontaylor.com
abbie at mysero.net
Order my new memoir at http://www.abbiejohnsontaylor.com/memoir.htm