[Critique Group 1] Cleora's May notes

[sitting.duck at springmail.com]

sally
Powerful reflection
I think the world growing smaller has to do with reduced mobility
I don’t understand the moon and the sun references. I’m sure there is something I’m missing here.
after thinking on your explanation, I think I understand.
He is the planet, and when he died, he stopped revolving, so the sun stopped coming up.
It doesn't seem like it can have been 4 years.
so much emotion I was compelled to read it again and again
Excellent as always
Leonard
An amusing approach to a very frustrating situation that happens all too often with assistive technology.
Didn’t see any problems.
DeAnna
I'm not familiar with
La Leche League
La Leche is Spanish for the milk, I think
So it would translate the milk League
Later you describe the purpose as being to teach new mothers about breast feeding.
perhaps mention this earlier to explain the name of the league.
Good idea for adding training on sibling rivalry to the course.
I have heard of older siblings being jealous of a new addition due to the attention they lose.
I've not heard of such drastic reactions, though.
On the one where your daughter suggested flushing, I thought she just didn't really understand the implication, but by the end, maybe she did.
That's a little scary.
Well written.
I’ll leave the grammar check to those more capable.
Marsha
[comments for Marsha
the sort of rhyming in the beginning is cute, but distracting.
I think it is strange they wanted you to pass a background check.
What has that got to do with your dog volunteering?
The tie in between your retirement goals and those of Viviane’s retirement was nicely done.
... make her an ideal volunteer, I thought.
I thought is redundant.
Nice explanation at the end of why a k9 volunteer encourages children
I enjoyed it and learned something.
Nicely done.
noted your comment of no word count or spell check, so I didn't look for that, but reading through I also didn't notice anything.