[Critique Group 1] Leonard's comments on DeAnna's sub

[Leonard Tuchyner]

This is a beautiful poem. 
It says so much in so little space. 
The geneology is clear and precise 
giving only the most essential details 
to say what you want to say 
and reveal as much as you want to reveal. 
A major message is that 
you nevr knew the man who had been your father. The man you knew was completely changed. 
So, in a sense you miss him. 
As I say, beautiful.

DeAnna sub for June 23
 
My father was 20 years old,
When he went to fight in a police action.
A grenade fragment destroyed who he had been
So I never knew the man my mother married.
 
I carry his Apache blood
But favor my white grandmother in looks.
My spirit is more like my great grandmother,
A gentle resilient strong Ojibwa woman.
 
My mother was only seventeen
An army corporal’s young wife at my birth.
She was a child bride married at age fifteen.
She returned to her people before I was two.
 
Thus it was I missed knowing him
Before he returned a violent stranger.
Gone was the man who brought mom yellow roses
And carried his infant daughter home with great joy.
 
 
 
 
DeAnna Quietwater Noriega
Cell: 573-544-3511









Leonard I. Tuchyner, Author



https://www.dldbooks.com/tuchyner/