[Critique Group 1] Leonard's comments on Martia's sub

[Leonard Tuchyner]

One thing I’ll mention is that I’mhaving a difficult time with following all the names and  who they are. 

But, that’s my fault 

and the fact that we only get to seethe piece unfold one  month at a time. 

I have no suggestions. 

The inquisition was interesting. 

If Robbie wanted  to intimidate the people at the furniture factory 

he might have succeeded in pissing them off.    

Subtly making sure that they knew hehad a gun, 

using language that served tointimidate, 

exercising his authority, 

Staring down the bosses  would serve to antagonize them. 

Is that what he wanted? 

Or did he simply want them to getnervous and stir up their sense of well-being. 

He used language that was unseeminglike bitch.  

It was unclear whether Robbie hadleft when Hamilton  talked to the bosses,

threatening  them with exposing that they were havingtroubles. 

Was this said in Robbie’s presence? 

Is she talking about something wedon’t know yet? 

Anyway, if Robbie wanted to stirthings up, he succeeded.   

Robbie adds spice to the story. 

That’s a good thing.

 

Martia sub for September 22, 2022

 

 

1740 words

 

Chapter 18

The Investigation

 

Six fresh inches of snow covered thelot at Millwood when I parked my cruiser next to Reed’s Lincoln. The lost wasnearly empty by the time I arrived late Monday afternoon to begin myinvestigation. It was after hours for the factory workers. Only die hards likeReed and Hamilton would be working late. Veronica, I knew, was out of town onbusiness. As I had expected, Pete’s idle butt was planted in a swivel chairbehind the security desk in the lobby.

 

“What’s up, Robbie?” he looked upfrom a magazine and asked. “You here to see Veronica? Too bad, she’s out oftown.”

 

“Actually, Pete, I was hoping totalk to you. I know that you keep a close eye on the goings on around here.Seems Veronica may be in some kind of trouble at Millwood. Has she doneanything lately to attract your attention?”

 

“Yeah, she’s got my attention, allright,” Pete said. “I like watching Ronnie strut her stuff, “but I don’t knownothing about her business.”

 

“That’s funny. I thought it was yourjob to know what’s going on at Millwood. I heard maybe someone is unhappy abouthow Veronica is sharing her benefits around here. Know what I mean?”

 

“Sharing her benefits? Veronica’s atight ass, strictly hands off, you know. I heard that she’s even tossed youoff, Braun.”

 

Pete had taken the bait. As Ifigured, he was eager to dish the dirt. If I could convince him to join forceswith me, he might reveal his suspicions about who could be stalking Veronica.

 

Setting the hook, I said, “You gotthat right, Pete. “Has she blown you off, too?”

 

“No one around here gets near thefancy bitch except Karl, and that’s ‘cause he’s a fag.”

 

“Karl? The dude with the handlebarmustache who works with Hamilton?”

 

“Yeah, that’s right. Veronica goesout to lunch with Karl now and then.  That sure sticks in Michelle’s craw.You know that Veronica is going after the promotion Hamilton wants, don’tyou?””

 

“Is Karl around today,” I askedPete. “Maybe he knows who is pestering Veronica.”

 

“Karl’s gone for the day. Want hisphone number?”

 

“Sure. He might have some ideasabout who is hounding Barringer.” Pete scribbled Karl’s phone number on a note.It would be impossible to compare the writing sample of numbers with themessages left for Veronica written with capital letters. 

 

“Hamilton watches Veronica like ahawk. Why don’t you ask her?” Pete asked.

 

“Good idea,” I said. “If it’s not alocal, Hamilton is sure to know if Veronica is messing around with acity-slicker. I’d like to confront the competition, you know?”

 

“Right,” Pete agreed. “Veronica ismore likely to go for an outsider. She stomps on us local boys like we’relittle ants.”

 

“What about the big boys around herelike Reed or Roberts? They’ve got money and prestige. Could one of them beunder Veronica’s spell? 

 

“Could be, said Pete. “Her goodlooks are hard to resist. If Veronica is in some kind of trouble with thebosses, she’s been looking for it if you ask me.”

 

“You got that right, Pete. The wayshe struts in her low-cut tops and tight skirts, she’s just looking for trouble,“I said. On the other hand, Veronica could be lying about the threats she’sgetting. It would be just like her to stir up trouble for entertainment.”

 

At the sound of a ding, Reed andRoberts emerged from the elevator. Pete ducked behind the security desk. Iwondered if he was supposed to be on his rounds. It seemed unlikely the wimphad enough guts to go after Veronica.

 

I turned my attention to Veronica’sbosses. “Hey guys,” I said. “Do you have a few minutes? I’d like to ask youabout one of your employees.”

 

Roberts and Reed exchanged waryglances. “Who you asking after?” Roberts wondered.

 

“Is there a private office where wecould talk?” I hitched up my holster for effect.

 

“Let’s go back upstairs,” Reedsuggested. “What’s this about?” he asked as the elevator doors closed. Ireserved my answer until I was comfortable in one of the guest chairs in frontof Mr. Reed’s presidential desk. Roberts took the other seat. 

 

“Someone at Millwood has beenthreatening Veronica Barringer. Any idea who might have it out for your gal?” 

 

Roberts and Reed straightened theirposture. “Well, Veronica has made a few enemies around here,“ Roberts ventured.“With her good looks and fancy attitude, she was bound to make someonejealous.”

 

“Jealous enough to threaten her?” Iasked.

 

“What kind of threats are youtalking about?” Reed asked.

 

“The kind that might get you lockedup for intimidation,” I answered. I didn’t want to divulge the details.

 

“Slow down, Robbie.” Reed stood toimpose his imposing height behind the shield of his desk. “No one at Millwoodis threatening Veronica. She’s a valued employee with a bright head on hershoulders.”

 

Although Reed was defendingVeronica, he avoided looking directly into my eyes.

 

“What about Hamilton? “ I asked.“She’s competing against Barringer for a promotion, right?”

 

“Aw, that ain’t nothing,” saidRoberts. “There’s bound to be a cat fight when two women go head-to-head for ahigh-profile job.” 

 

“Seems unusual that two women arecompeting for a promotion at Millwood. Aren’t most of the good-paying jobsreserved for men like you?”

 

“This is the age of equalopportunity,” Reed said. “That’s why we recruited Barringer. It’s justunfortunate that her competition for the marketing position is another woman.” 

 

“It could get dirty,” I suggested.“Hope no one gets hurt. I hear Hamilton is a fierce competitor.”

 

As if on cue, Michelle Hamiltontapped on Reed’s door. She looked surprised to see me seated at Mr. Reed’sdesk.

 

“Hey, Michelle. Working late?” Ifixed my sights on Veronica’s rival. Hamilton definitely had a motive to takeVeronica down. She eyed me like a spider sizing up its prey. 

 

“What brings you around here,Braun?” she asked.

 

“I’ve been asked to look into somesecurity issues at Millwood,” I said. 

 

Pete popped into Mr. Reed’s officebehind Michelle to prove he was on the job. 

 

“I tried to tell Officer Braun mosteveryone has left for the day, but he insisted on talking to you about thetrouble Veronica is in.”

 

“Veronica creates her own troublearound here,” Michelle said. “She should go back where she came from. Althoughit’s funny that no one knows where she came from. Maybe she’s hiding out in DoeLake because she pissed off everyone last place she worked.”

 

“You could be right,” I said. Maybewhoever has it out for Veronica has tracked her to Doe Lake, but who’s passingthe threats to Veronica at Millwood? You’re not the one pressuring Barringer,are you, Michelle?”

 

“If I could run Barringer out oftown, I would,” Hamilton admitted. “She’s been kissing up to the management atMillwood, going after the promotion I was promised. But, I’ve got nothing tohide.” Hamilton continued to sneer, “Veronica will hang herself without anyhelp from me. She’s pissed off enough people around here.”

 

“Who would be at the top of yourlist?” I asked.

 

“Well, there are too manypossibilities to count,” Michelle said, lifting her spiny fingers one by one.“Maybe Pete here, or you Braun? Either of you could be a suspect. When it comesto the number of men she’s blown off, the list is long. Don’t overlook themarried sales reps from out of town who will pay dearly if their wives hearthey’ve been fooling around. Should I go on?”

 

“Sounds like we’re in agreement thatVeronica has made a few enemies at Millwood,” I said. “But that doesn’t mean Ican look the other way if she’s in harm’s way. I took an oath to protect anddefend, even the bitches from out of town.” 

 

Hamilton clenched an unlit cigarettebetween her teeth and said, “Sounds to me like you’re working up an alibi tocover your own tracks, Braun. What do you think, Pete?“

 

“I gotta go on my rounds,” Petesaid, dodging the bullet. 

 

“It’s most likely whoever ishassling Veronica is just trying to get a reaction out of her,” Reed said. “I’msure the threats aren’t serious.” “If your questions have been answeredsatisfactorily, Officer Braun, this inquisition is over.”

 

I stood to meet Reed’s stare. “I’llbe satisfied when the threats stop. Let’s see what happens after the word getsout that the police are involved. I don’t doubt Pete will fire up the rumormill at Millwood.”

 

“I’ll ask around,” Roberts offered.“We’ll be sure to notify you if any relevant information emerges.”

 

“Thanks gentlemen, and ‘gentle’woman,” I added with a nod to Michelle. “I’ll see myself out.”

 

* * *

 

Hamilton’s glare pinned Reed andRoberts to their chairs like invisible duct tape. “I tried to tell you thatBarringer is trouble, but you wouldn’t listen,” Michelle said. “You might aswell be wearing blinders because you can’t take your eyes off her figure.”

 

Reed squirmed and his potato headbobbed. Roberts pumped his leg up and down like he wanted to run. The men knewMichelle’s venomous wrath all too well. 

 

She continued to jab. “Don’t youknow better than to invite a cop to nose around in Millwood’s business? Nextthing you know, Pete’s loose-lips will have everyone talking. Then TheMessenger’s snoopy reporter will come around to investigate the story.”

 

“There’s nothing to investigate,”Reed said. Braun will figure out that Veronica is a drama queen. She probablymade up the story to get Robbie’s attention.”

 

Roberts sent a sideways nod toappease Hamilton. “Let me talk with Veronica when she returns from New York. Ithink I can convince her to tone things down, that no one around here is out toget her.” 

 

“Sure, that’s the answer,” Hamiltonshot back. “Simply assure Barringer that she’s safe and secure at Millwood,that you and Mr. Reed will watch her back side. While you’re at it, go aheadand give her the marketing department promotion.”

 

“Now, Michelle…” Roberts attemptedto placate her.

“Better yet, I’ll take the matterinto my own hands. I’ll simply inform the mayor about the problems we’re havinghere at Millwood.” Hamilton spun on her heels and left Roberts and Reed tosweat in their shoes.

 

 

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Leonard I. Tuchyner, Author
 
https://www.dldbooks.com/tuchyner/

 
  
 
 

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