[Critique Group 1] Leonard's comments on Martia's piece
tuchyner5 at aol.com
tuchyner5 at aol.com
Tue May 31 15:42:15 EDT 2022
The plot thickens.
It isn’t going to be the cop.
It isn’t going to be Hamilton.
So who could it be?.
Your making good progress, keepingthe reader in suspense.
I’m seriously enjoying this saga.
Martia sub for May
Chapter 14
Help Wanted
I had used the excuse of a businesscall to hasten Claudia’s departure that afternoon, but truth was I was anxiousto telephone Officer Braun as soon as possible to investigate the intrusion ofmy office. Regrettably, I would have to reveal my many secrets to Robbie inorder to solicit his help.
Unnerved, I retrieved and reread thecryptic message that had been left on my desk. “I’M WATCHING YOU.” . Was itHamilton messing with my head? I realized that Michelle was threatened becauseI was upsetting the status quo, challenging my rival’s position at Millwood. Orperhaps, I wondered with regret, had my affair with Millwood’s regional salesmanager in Chicago been exposed?
The reveal would damage hisreputation and jeopardize his marriage.
Shouldn’t this be revelation?
Worse yet, had someone at Millwooddiscovered that I was the daughter of a famous television star and wasintending to blackmail me for their silence? I considered, the only people whohad a key to my office were the company’s officers or Pete, Millwood’s securityguard. I had been with Hamilton and Roberts on the factory tour, so it wouldseem they were eliminated as suspects. On the other hand, I wouldn’t put itpast Hamilton to recruit Pete to leave me the threatening note.
I telephoned Robbie and asked him tomeet with me the next morning.
“I’m flying to New York Citytomorrow. I know I’ve been avoiding you, Robbie, but I need your professionaladvice before I leave town.”
, “Goon.” Officer Braun’s response was flat.
Why is there a commahere?
“The thing is, I’m being threatened.I don’t know if it’s because of a workplace rivalry, or if someone hasdiscovered my true identity.”
“You’re not making sense,” Robbiesaid.
“I’ll explain more in the morning.Can I trust you to keep our meeting confidential?”
“Of course, Veronica. The coffeedate will be our little secret.”
“This is serious,” I said. “I’mbeing watched. I don’t know if it’s a prank or if someone is stalking me.Please, just meet me at 8:00 tomorrow morning at that hole-in-the-wallbreakfast place outside of town. You know the one I mean, on the back road toGrand Rapids? My flight departs at 11:00.”
Having made the call, I began tosecond-guess my paranoia. Maybe I hadn’t secured the door when we went on thefactory tour? Yet, Claudia had expressed concerned about her purse. Was I sodistracted by all the unwanted visitors that I had neglected to follow through?Curious, I tested the lock with my key, clicking the mechanism left then rightrepeatedly, when Mr. Reed sauntered by.
“Having trouble with the lock,Veronica?” he asked.
The last thing I wanted was to callundo attention to my predicament.
“It’s all good, Mr. Reed. “Justlocking up because I’ll be out of town for two weeks.”
“Hope you nail that interview for mewith the editors of Contract Magazine when we’re in Chicago this June.”
“It’s at the top of the list when Imeet with our public relations manager in New York City next week,” I said.
“Atta girl,” Mr. Reed squeezed myupper arm like a piece of fruit. I restrained myself from shrugging off hiscondescending gesture.
Seated in a worn leather booth atthe back of the dark diner the next morning, I sipped my coffee, anxious forBraun to meet me as promised. The sleepy clerk glued to a black and whitetelevision set took little interest in her only customer. Fortunately, thecoffee was fresh and strong. When Robbie entered, I waved a hand in relief.
“Breakfast is on me,” I said as heslid into the opposite bench. “I appreciate your time; I know I’m not yourfavorite person these days. Nevertheless, can you please promise that you won’ttalk to anyone about what I’m about to tell you?”
The clerk perked up and approachedour booth with a broad smile, prepared to take Robbie’s order. She obviouslypreferred his business to mine.
“Why, Officer Braun. You don’t comeround here often. How about the farmer’s breakfast plate with sausage andbacon? It’s on the house,” she said, flirting with him like a school girl.
“That’d be fine,” Robbie said, “butmy friend has offered to pay.”
“Oh? I thought she just wantedcoffee and free refills.”
The clerk gazed at Robbie like I wasinvisible. Just as well that she might not remember me later, but I needed herto disappear so Robbie and I could talk.
“Tell you what,” I suggested. “I’llbuy Officer Braun’s breakfast, and there’s a twenty dollar tip in it for you,too - if you give us complete privacy while he eats. This is a police matter,right Robbie?” I kicked Braun’s uniformed leg under the table to take hisattention off the chick.
“Right, right,” he echoed. “Youdidn’t see me here today, Chicky,” he said.
The girl pursed her lips behind anindex finger and nodded. “Mum’s the word.”
As soon as the clerk closed the doorto the back kitchen, I said, “I can’t believe you called the girl ‘Chicky’.”
“That’s her name. Chicky. ChickyFowler. Believe it or not, they call her dad Rooster, swear to God.”
“Okay, enough local folk lore,” Isaid, rolling my eyes. “I don’t have a lot of time. Just let me explain why Ineed your help.”
“This better be good,” Robbie said.“You’ve been avoiding me for months. What’s so important about meeting with metoday?”
“Here’s the thing. The reason Imoved to Doe Lake was to get away from prying eyes. Now, someone at Millwood iswatching me and I need to know why.”
“Everyone in Doe Lake has beenwatching you since the day you came to town, being the good looker you are.”
I silenced Robbie with another kickunder the table as Chicky the chick returned with his platter of eggs, homefries, buttermilk biscuits, and breakfast meat. She poured him a mug of blackcoffee without offering to top off mine.
This is a lot for the waitress to do with that short span of conversation withRobie.
“Leave the coffee pot and don’t comeback until I ask for the bill,” I said, thumping my mug on the grimy table foremphasis.
“Sounds like you mean business,”said Robbie, forking a piece of sausage into his mouth.
“Just shut up and listen while youeat. I don’t have all day to make you understand.”
Robbie nodded and focused on hisfood while I disclosed my bitter workplace rivalry with Hamilton, and then wenton to reveal my sexual indiscretions. When I confided that I was the daughterof a famous TV star, his eyebrows lifted like a marionette puppet. Otherwise,his face remained expressionless. If he was surprised, jealous, disappointed,or taking pleasure in my predicament, he didn’t show it. The consummate cop, Ihad to admit.
“So, Veronica. Let me see if I’vegot this right. You’ve been hiding in plain sight from the tabloids in Doe Lakebecause, pretty much, no one pays any attention to what happens around here,right? And, even though you have no intention of sticking around, you’repursuing a promotion you don’t need or want just to stick it to Hamilton.Turning a piece of bacon in the air, he continued to tighten the screws.“Finally, You think that local boys like me aren’t good enough for youraffection, but a married man from the city is deserving. That about right?”
“Well, when you put it like that,yes,” I said, meeting his emerald eyes in defiance. “Don’t judge me, Robbie.Please, just do your job and figure out who is watching me, and why.”
“Sure, Ronnie. I think I canschmooze with the big boys at Millwood. If they know anything about youridentity or affair, they’ll want to brag about it. Hamilton, on the other hand,is a feral cat. She’ll scratch and claw to protect her territory. But Pete is amouse – he’ll talk if I set the trap right.”
“Don’t let anyone know you’resnooping around or all hell will break loose.”
Robbie smirked at my words. “Nah,nothing exciting ever happens in Doe Lake, right?”
“Look, Robbie. I think Doe Lake is agreat town. And you’re a good cop. Maybe, if I’d been born under a differentstar, I’d even consider being your girl. But our stars are crossed. I couldnever fit in around here. Life in a small town is too predictable. Growing up,all I’ve known is upheaval and uncertainty. The good news is, I’ll be leavingDoe Lake soon. After my trust funds are released this summer, I won’t be at themercy of my marvelous mother, the prying paparazzi, or horny men enthralledwith my body any more. I have a mind, too, you know. One day, you might evensee my photograph on the cover of a best-selling book.”
Robbie shoved his plate aside andcupped well-manicured fingers around his coffee mug. His puppy dog eyesregarded me, not like a bitch that he wanted to fuck, but as if he actuallycared about me as a friend. For once, I wasn’t feeling vulnerable to the heatof his testosterone. If we weren’t meant to be lovers, maybe we could befriends, I thought. On the other hand …
“Robbie,” I said, “You know there’sanother woman in town who cares for you. I understand why you’re angry withClaudia over that silly editorial, but it was honest and well-intentioned.Claudia likes the people in Doe Lake, you know. She could fit in, given time.She might even sample your venison steak, if you ask nice.”
“Actually, Claudia called me lastnight and asked me over to her place for lunch today. You think maybe she wantsto kiss and make up?”
“Treat her with respect, Robbie, oryou’ll be hearing from me.” I glanced at my wrist watch. “It’s 9:00. I’ve got aflight to catch. If you learn anything before I return, call me at the Waldorf.If I’m not in, leave a message at the front desk and I’ll call you back.”
After slipping two twenty dollarbills under Robbie’s plate, I thumped my mug three times on the table top andstood. Robbie blocked my retreat and gave me a warm hug for encouragement.
“Thanks for that,” I said. “I’llleave you to sort out the change with Chicky.”
* * *
With Veronica out of town onbusiness, Hamilton was intending to lobby Millwood’s president for theMarketing Director position opening in April. The promotion had been hers untilVeronica landed in Doe Lake like a shooting star. The owners of Millwood,blinded by Barringer’s beauty, had invited her to apply for the position.Hamilton had hoped to intimidate her rival, creating so much workplaceanimosity that Veronica would quit her job at Millwood and depart Doe Lake, butBarringer had persisted like an unwelcome pest that needed to be exterminated.
Equally pernicious, MichelleHamilton wasn’t to be under-estimated. She had more than one weapon up hersleeve. Hamilton was confident that Millwood’s president could be convincedthat she was the right pick for the job after she reminded Mr. Reed of herloyalty to the Millwood brand. After all, hadn’t she coerced Doe Lake’s mayorto look the other way when the company “inadvertently” spilled toxic waste intoa nearby creek the previous year? She had helped Millwood Furniture leverageits value as the largest taxpayer in the valley to buy the mayor’s silence.Eventually, the mysterious fish kill had been blamed on a rare algae thatvanished without treatment. Ultimately, if Hamilton was passed over for thepromotion in favor of Veronica, she wouldn’t hesitate to take the story to theGrand Rapids television station, and Doe Lake’s future as a trendy resort wouldbe doomed.
* * *
Trying to understand women wasalmost impossible, but Robbie figured he was coming around, about as fast as alarge tanker reversing its direction on the open sea. He acknowledte that heobjectified women like Veronica and Claudia based on their appearance, butwomen wanted to be appreciated as beautiful, didn’t they? At the same time,Robbie had already learned the hard way that good looks alone didn’t guaranteehappiness. Why had he thought good lookers from out of town would prove anydifferent?
As Veronica had suggested, Robbiewould take a closer look at Claudia over lunch. He would try to see beyond herpretty figure and understand her underlying qualities – honesty and goodintentions, strength and stubbornness, perseverance and passion for her ideals.
If things went well, Robbie wantedto invite Claudia to join him for the ice fishing contest on Doe Lake laterthat month. He was pretty sure she’d never experienced anything like it before.Sure, she had skied the Rockies and the Midwest hills and valleys, but fishingthrough a hole on a frozen lake wasn’t likely anything she’d done before.
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