[Critique Group 1] Sally's January comments
sanford.rosenthal at comcast.net
sanford.rosenthal at comcast.net
Mon Jan 31 21:50:24 EST 2022
Sally's January comments:
DeAnna: I have seen this before. Was it for this group or for a V O E
critique session? Isaid, at that time, that I wouldn't change anything and
that still stands. This is exquisite and very moving.
Marcia: Change "youngest" to "younger" since you have only two daughters.
This says so much in so few words. Honest and compelling. I like the use
of "intruder" with "civic duty." Was this call the first one? Were you and
your family offered any help following later calls or just checked up on?
Were you ever afraid authorities might try to place your daughters in care?
Leonard: I love the way the poem takes the reader right into the experience
by using vivid descriptions. There is such a sense of elation as the poem
closes.
Cleora:Good information but you need to jump in at the beginning about the
book without all the author info. Not sure about how to handle
bibliographic citation. Maybe a link to purchasing site? Nice tie-in to
previous books but not certain what you mean about being safe to read this
final entry in series.
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