[Critique Group 1] May Critique Notes

[Deanna Noriega]

Sally,

Beatufilly written, as always. It left me feeling sad though. I hope you
begin moving forward, one small step at a time. 

 

Marcia,

I liked both of these. They seem more akin to prose poetry. Good use of
language, leaving an aftertaste of sadness.

The second piece seems to end abruptly with the word "there" did you intend
to say more?  I wonder what ads will begin appearing on faceBook. I was
startled when I got an ad on mine that wanted to sell me a T-shirt that
said, "Just a California girl, living in a Missouri world. 

 

Leonard,

The forkatting on the copy I received made it hard to determine whether this
was divied into stanzas with the last c ontaining only one line.

Shouldn't you end with punctuation?

 

Cleora,

Generalizations are stated which I think would depend on the training and
experience of individuals rather than gender based differences.

I think you may have a typo in the line:

Many women, I'm know, do the same quality of work as a man

Perhaps it should read:

Many women, I know,

 

 

DeAnna Quietwater Noriega

Cell: 573-544-3511

Email:  <mailto:dqnoriega at gmail.com> dqnoriega at gmail.com

Author of Fifty Years of Walking with Friends

https://www.dldbooks.com/dqnoriega/

 

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