[Critique Group 1] Critique for December

[Deanna Noriega]

Marcia,

Breaking News

Typo in this sentence: His unspoken repudiation left me with an uneasy sense
of security. I think you meant to write insecurity.

Otherwise the chapter works well with the story line.

 

Leonard

Saying Goodbye

Poignant poem of sorrow, there is a tone of resignation. A faint glimmer of
hope is a good last line.

 

Cleora,

Misty Christmas

I liked it. With the right illustrator, I think you could sell it. Of course
you will have to sell it next year, sometime in the fall if you check
submission guidelines for some of the magazines aimed at children. I am not
sure which ones are still publishing. That will take a bit of research, but
you are good at that.

Merry Christmas. I used to know a brother and sister whose last name was
Christmas. Their parents named them Merry and Jerry. I am eager to see where
you take this great beginning.

 

Sally

 

 

 

DeAnna Quietwater Noriega

Cell: 573-544-3511

Email:  <mailto:dqnoriega at gmail.com> dqnoriega at gmail.com

Author of Fifty Years of Walking with Friends

https://www.dldbooks.com/dqnoriega/

 

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