[Critique Group 1] April critique notes

[Deanna Noriega]

Cleora:

Sun was bright and shiny. Perhaps brightly shining.

Hum, usually means to vocalize a melody. Perhaps, Hunh! Means surprised
sound.

Soaking my feet in the floorboard. Perhaps soaking my feet and the
floorboard.

Interesting and holds the reader until the conclusion.

 

Marcia

 

Leonard,

Time camera, Perhaps time elapse camera

It will tell the story, perhaps the truth will bee revealed. Thus you won't
need to have the word story in two adjacent sentences. Well written essay.

 

Sally:

In the sentence beginning: Initially , after the word (and) you need a space
between the words (as) and the word (a)

You need a period after the word solace.

You have an extra  periodafter the word surface. Some of your sentences were
long, but I liked the way you handled your feelings. 

 

 

 

DeAnna Quietwater Noriega

Cell: 573-544-3511

Email:  <mailto:dqnoriega at gmail.com> dqnoriega at gmail.com

Author of Fifty Years of Walking with Friends

https://www.dldbooks.com/dqnoriega/

 

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