[Critique Group 1] Fwd: Leonard's comments on Marcia's work for Sept

[tuchyner5 at aol.com]

-----Original Message-----
From: tuchyner5 at aol.com
To: group2 at bluegrasspals.com <group2 at bluegrasspals.com>
Sent: Sat, Oct 10, 2020 10:53 am
Subject: Leonard's comments on Marcia's work for Sept


This piece was impossible to read without the commas. 

That why I guess you put the word enjambment  in the title. 

It was an eye-opener to me Actually, 

It was an accurate description of the news in the lastmonth.. 

 

Martia’s sub for Sept 20

 

September Snow – with enjambment?

Marcia J. Wick, The Write Sisters

September 2020

Word Count:  120 / 29 lines

 

 

In Colorado, snow in October often coats 

Goblins and Halloween pumpkins; the first 

snow fell this year in September, one 

Day after Labor Day, one 

Day after record high heat, two 

days after wildfires exploded 

west of the mountains raining 

ash on diners distanced 

socially outdoors, reluctant 

to move indoors risking

contact with a virus oblivious 

to my daughter’s birthday, the holiday 

weekend, the first opportunity 

to hug grandchildren in six 

long months sheltering 

safe from exposure, hiding 

from contamination, toxic 

air spreading, political 

rhetoric, crazed power 

mongers, eroding trust, 

hateful intolerance, violent 

vigilantes with guns,

out of control, inhumanity, 

bigotry, division, deadly 

infection without borders, craven 

greed, reckless consumption, unrest, 

confusion, contention, chaos, 

climate change, new

normal September snow.

# # #

 

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