[Critique Group 1] Leonard's commets on Martia's piece

tuchyner5 at aol.com tuchyner5 at aol.com
Tue May 12 12:43:36 EDT 2020


Throughoutthis writers life she has been beset by many losses. Eye-sight, lives, divorce,. There are tears waiting to flow, but she believes that if shelets one teardrop fall, it will release a cascade that will overwhelm her.  



Thereare many people who are depending on her to hold it together. 



Shecan not, must not, let the griefe and pain overwhelm her 




 


CheckMy Tears



MarciaJ. Wick, The Write Sisters



March2020



WordCount:  194



 



Icheck my tears. I can’t allow the glimmer of moisture to slip into a tear duct.If one droplet were to surface and slide onto my cheek, it could unleash acascade that a decades-old dam might not hold. I could crumble under theweight. Oxygen-robbing memories would drown my soul. Rushing flood waters wouldpush me down and force me along a rocky riverbed out to a bottomless sea.



Excellent  description..



Particularlythe last two  lines.




 


Thisis a good description of the feeling of being overwhelmed.  



butshe can only hope for periodds within the struggle to give her somereprieve  and let her catch her breath.



 



Imust not let down my guard. I’ve learned through experience that after beingslammed by one wave, I had best gulp for air and prepare for another crash. Ican’t quit. I must keep swimming and hope for the promise of an eddy to restand regain the strength I’ll need to persevere. With little choice, I clawforward.



The  metaphor of water continues. Very nice. 



Ican’t fail. Others count on me. Through the drama of divorce, blindness, sexualassault, and loss, I’ve modeled control. I’ve managed alone. I haven’tstumbled. I steeled my soul against the pain. Life unfolds faster than I canfeel; there’s no time for emotion. Any moment, an advancing avalanche may wellsweep me into a crevasse. Once again, I check my tears.



Shehas set the model for controll and she dare not let it down.



Anew metaphor of an  and avalanche . Nice.



 



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