[Critique Group 1] Leonard's comments on Cleora's piece for Feb.

[tuchyner5 at aol.com]

This was a fun piece.  



I really can’t see the punctuation marks, so Ican’t comment on it. 



However,I notice that you don’t have separationsbetween when each of you are talking. 



They are actually paragraphs. 



They should be separated . 




 


1497 words
Congratulations! You are a Winner
by C. S. Boyd



Woo-Hoo! I'm a 3 million 500 thousand dollarwinner.



My phone rings, and I answer.



“This is John Wesley Harden with readersDiscovery.
Are you familiar with Reader's Discovery?” the caller says.



“Um, somewhat,” I stammer, thinking this is acall to get me to buy a subscription.



“You know, with publishers Copy house.
I’m calling to notify you of being a second prize winner.
We sent you a letter, but we didn’t hear from you. You are a Publisher's CopyHouse winner as of 16 July, 2019. Your name has been selected as winner ofthree million five hundred thousand dollars
and a 2019 C class Metal Mercedes car.”



There is some more talk. Every so often he asksa question that should get a “yes” answer. I’m suspicious. I think I grunteduh-huh a couple of times, but I avoid ever outright saying the word “yes.”



“I need you to write down 3 pieces ofinformation,” he continues. “Go get a pencil and paper to write thisinformation down.”



I tell him to hold on while I go get a digitalrecorder and try to get it to start recording.
He was able to hear JAWS (my screen reader) in the background. He thought itwas the TV. He wanted me to turn down the TV so he could give me all my winningdetails.



“This is 100% legitimate sure. For me heretoday,” he assures me.
“I want you to me listening keenly, so you can have all the information writtenthe way you are supposed to.
name of company Publisher's Copy house
The rd company. Stands for reader's Discovery.
address for company
ADDRESS:
101 Winners Circle
Fort Washington, NY 11727

I would like you now to have the toll free number for the company.
876 483 7012.”



Now he asks me to verify that back.



I repeat back what he told me to write down.



“That's wonderful,” he says.
“Now, you need my badge number.
badge number PCH-RD881052 (PCH short for Publisher's ADDRESS:
Copy House RD
 stands for Reader'sDiscovery)”



He repeated his badge number.



“You're also going to need having down my fullname.
My Full name that’s Mr. John Wesley Hardin.
I am the CEO manager and the prize control manager for both departments.
Now you’re going to have down the amount of money your name was selected for.on the second place category.
That's three million five hundred thousand dollars. Congratulations!
Is this the first time you've ever won yourself a prize?”



“ No, I've won prizes before.”



“From our company also?”



“No, not from Publisher's Copy House.”



“And, you have down your 3 million 500 thousanddollars??”



“I have it down. Three million five hundredthousand.”



“And, you're going to have down a 2019 C classMetal Mercedes?”



“I have it down.”



“Do you still drive?”



“No. I don’t drive anymore.”



“How do you get around?”



“I have a car. Others drive it for me.”



“You don't sound very excited that you are alucky winner here.”



“I’ll get excited when the money is in the bank,and the car in the garage.”



“Your prize should be delivered to you on Mondayat 1:35 in the afternoon.
And, the only thing here to be registered by you to be a winner is yourshipping and handling and registration fee.
To register your name under the government legal act so they can see that youhave taken care of your shipping and handling fee and the registration fee onthe prize.
Alright?”



“And how much is that fee?”



“Shipping and handling
that's 38 hundred. Write it down.  And, the registration fee, then, is 15hundred dollars.
The 38 hundred, that is going to be for the arrival of the package because thepackage is currently down in Dallas, Texas.”



“It is in Dallasright now?”



“Yes, it is in Dallas right now. That's the curtesy whywe're calling because you were supposed to receive this package last week, butwe weren't able to get ahold of you.
We sent you a letter, but we still didn't get a response from you. That's you,the owner of the package.





Unclear here.




 


That's the reason why your package is in Dallas and can't be transferred over to Fort worth. And, can't get everythingdelivered.
So I need you to read back everything from the beginning that you have on thepaper.”



I repeat everything back to him.



So, now it is time for me to quickly sprint tomy purse for my credit card...



WRONG!



“I can't pay that,” I say.



This doesn’t make sense.  



You tell him it is time for you to go to thecredit cards. 



He tells you that you are wrong. 



And then he admonishes you because you won’t payit. 




 


“You can't, or you won't?” he asks.



“I won't,” I answer.



“Get off here,” he commanded, and hung up.



I must say that reaction from him surprised me.I would have liked to continue the conversation a little longer to find outwhat he would have come up with for me to pay the $5,300 in fees to get thisbogus prize. Of course, I knew from the start that this was one of those scamcalls.



How did I know?



The names used in the script are fictitious, butI'm very familiar with the types of prizes offered by the company he claimed torepresent. This is not the way they operate.



He said they had sent me a notice the weekbefore and not heard from me. I never received any kind of letter or noticethat I won any prize. I have won prizes before. Sometimes the prize justarrives in the mail. Other times, I get a phone call. Once, I had to go pick upthe prize in a local contest. Any time I have won something in a contest Ididn't enter, it has been a promotion of some type. I have never won a prize ina contest or sweepstakes I didn’t enter. If you haven't entered a contest,something is not right.



Did you notice how many times he tried to get meto say the word “yes?” If this is a scam call, they may be trying to get you tosay “Yes.” So they can record it and use it as proof that you authorized acharge on a credit card or purchased a product or service.



This guy claims to be the CEO manager and theprize control manager for both departments. Why is this guy making these callshimself? If they can afford to give away 3.5 million dollars and a Mercedes asa second prize, shouldn’t he have a staff to do this? That’s like the letters Iget signed by the president. He is probably the only person in the departmentso he only manages himself.



By law, they cannot require you to make apurchase. Granted, the shipping and registration fees are not technically apurchase, but I think if there is a registration fee involved, surely thecompany would be the one to pay that. I have never had to register any prize Ihave won. The shipping and handling fee is like the “Thank you” gifts I getfrom companies from time to time where I have to pay shipping and handling toget my free gift that I could buy for about the same cost as the S&H fee atany dollar or office supply store. It isn't a gift if I have to pay shippingand handling, or Buy a meal to get my free dinner. These last two are not ascan. They are promotions or a form of advertising. You do get something forthe money spent. It's just not really a gift.



To my knowledge, there is no governmentregulation requiring a person to register their prize. I have never had toregister any prize I have won.



He had worked to polish his speech so he didn'thave a detectable accent, but the way he talks shows that the script was notprofessionally prepared by a person who knows correct English usage. Or, maybeit was. They sometimes use this technique of a foreign sounding person orbroken English to weed out the people who are not likely to fall for the scam.Those people will usually hang up as soon as the promoter starts talking. Theyare looking for the naive gullible greedy person who just can't resist thepossibility that it might be real.



However, as soon as my 3.5 mill is in the bank,and the new Mercedes safely in my garage, I'll gladly pony up the $5,300shipping and registration fees if they are required.



The reallybad news is that what these people are doing is cruel and unethical, but is nottechnically illegal according to the police and phone company. So, watch out folks.Don't get taken in. This was cheap. Not all of them are. Once they get yourmoney, there is not a lot that can be done to prosecute or get your money back.





-----Original Message-----
From: Leonard Tuchyner via Group1
Sent: Feb 12, 2020 5:22 PM
To: "C. S. Boyd"
Cc: Critique Group 1
Subject: [Critique Group 1] Leonards poem for critique



Lines: 26



 down.



Thus her pattern wasestablished.



Trust not, for they willlet you down.



 



They still see eachother.



They will try again.



This time there will becounseling.



Maybe love will win inthe end.



She has finally grown toknow



that each of them has astory.




 



 

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