[Critique Group 1] cleora's submission for 5/30/19

[sitting.duck at springmail.com]

Hello group one.
Sorry this month's submission is so rough. It has been a challenging month.
I am working on a cast of characters, but in the meantime, the new, and some old, characters have their province and kingdom name included. That will change once the piece is finished.
Yes, I know there are some words that are over used. Alas, I have had a lot of distractions, and my brain is just not comeing up with aulternatives to make it flow better.
Dog Breath's kingdom has been changed from Crumble to Dust to Hollow Dogs.
I look forward to your comments.

1147 words
Part Eleven
Castle of King Almero, kingdom of Silent Enigma 

King Almero, the dwarf ruler of Anathema in the kingdom of Silent Enigma (8:49), critically reviewed the scrolls of information before him.
The tandem attacks by insane shadow of the kingdom of Creeping Darkness(14:48) and Void Shadow of the kingdom of Creeping Darkness (14:48) on Sworn to EnycE, the large undead province in Hades Legions. had weakened it sufficiently for one of his smaller attackers to capture some land from it, but the province remained a dangerous threat.
shadow mhail's (province of the kingdom of Creeping Darkness (14:48)) attacks on Sworn to destruction (medium dwarf) and Critic (small Halfling) of Hades Legions hadn't accomplished much as far as making the kingdom of Hades Legions surrender. He couldn't understand. shadow mhail had almost destroyed Hollow Dogs, Then, instead of finishing them off, his troops returned home followed by making those two useless attacks, and hadn't done anything since. He would have to talk to the king of Creeping Darkness and find out what was going on. 

Several other outside provinces had attacked the original monarch of Hades Legions helping them reduce it to rubble, but he had not surrendered. When Hades Legions switched monarchs, he felt sure it was to surrender. But, the new monarch had sent a peace offering, and messaged asking him to accept. He had immediately fired back with a message suggesting that the new monarch surrender along with a not so veiled suggestion that he and his whole kingdom would be destroyed if he didn't. When he didn't surrender, they had switched their attacks to the new monarch. It hadn't taken long to render that province helpless as well. They would surely surrender now, he thought. But, a duck had walked onto the province of The Crystal Pond, and set up housekeeping. It's not even a warrior duck. It's a blind female duck. What possessed them to elect an inexperienced bird monarch? Now, what is it with this duck. He and Fly had promptly sent a message to The Crystal Pond pointing out death was in her future if she didn't surrender. This was insane. Instead of surrendering, she killed the dragon he sent. Then, she had the audacity to give a party for the kingdom with the meat, and give away choice parts. At least his thieves had gone and stolen what was left. The remaining dragon meat was in his stores. Then, the duck ran away. Now, he had to convince his partners that it was just a matter of time. All they had to do is keep the pressure on. Hades Legions had to be running out of rulers willing to be monarch. Hadn't they seen what happened to the first two? What was in process of happening to this last one? I mean, the duck ran. It was just a matter of time. Sure, they had held out longer than he expected. But, they had to be close to the point of collapse. There was the matter of the dragon. How had that fowl killed it so quickly. Dragons weren't cheap, after all was done, he was going to roast that feathered Queen. Now, he had to pump up the troops. He rose and headed out the door to his council room pausing a moment in front of the polished steal sheet on the wall to make sure his majestic, royal attire was suitably impressive.

In The Council Chamber

All eyes turned to the doorway as it opened to admit King Almero. Stepping in, he looked around the room at each face, making eye contact. Their clear trepidation at his presence was immensely satisfying. “It is always better to have people fear you rather than love you if you can't have both,” he heard his father's words echo in his memory.

“I have been reviewing the data for the enemy. They are weak and scared. They elected a third monarch. A new comer to the kingdom. It is an inexperienced avian according to reports. Killing our dragon was clearly an accident. Rumer has it that she has run away. That will delay the surrender. They will need to elect a new monarch as soon as they admit this one is gone for good. We must keep the pressure on. Contact your friends outside the kingdom and make sure they wait for your attack so we get the larger chunk of land. I noticed some attacks on their non warrior provinces. That is a wasted attack. We must weaken their attackers to destroy their ability to fight. 

“That wretched wizard is scaring my troops and his thieves are stealing me blind. I had to do something,” complained the undead ruler of gotar .

King Almero slammed his fist down on the council table. “Don't do it again. You were attacked immediately after and lost land. Your little revenge cost us momentum. There will be plenty of time after the peace to take your revenge.

“I agree with the ruler of Gotar,” said the dwarf ruler of The Land of Darkness. “After the surrender, we will be blocked from further attacks.”

“We will get more than we lose from the surrender,” insisted King Almero. He looked around the room. He was losing them. The war had gone on longer than expected. “The kingdom of Creeping Darkness is backing us. “And,” he added, his face turning dark and threatening, “they will be more than willing to take care of any province that fails to follow orders.”

Eyes looked away. He could see some swallow hard. All but Fly. The big Halfling who had been exploring, his face expressionless, continued to look him in the eye. King Almero turned his gaze on the big avian. “Sir Taran of Spielburg of Achlamar sitting to the right of Sir Fly. “how long before you are ready to join the battle?”

“It's hard to say,” said Sir Taran. “There thieves and wizards are killing my troops, and robbing my resources faster than I can use them. It would be of help to me if some of our attackers could massacre their underground element. It would give me a chance to build up. As it is, I'm just barely maintaining the troops I have. I'm not able to get ahead.”

King Almero knew he was going to have to get rid of Sir Taran, But for now, he needed him. He was his biggest attacker. But, Taran had been a monarch in another kingdom before coming to Silent Enigma. Fly had been the former monarch of Silent Enigma, but had stepped down when King Almero. expressed a desire to be monarch. Fly had supported him, and encouraged the other rulers to vote for him. As soon as this business was over, he resolved to speak to Creeping Darkness about helping him remove both of them.
to be continued