[Critique Group 1] Reminder submissions due Thursday. Also, my submission

[tuchyner5 at aol.com]

28 line poem not counting spaces.


 


It is important to know that this is a dialogue poem betweentwo protagonists. It is meant as a spoof.


 



 


Sailing to Key Biscayne or Go Take a Sail

                        By

       LeonardTuchyner 


 


I want to sail along the bay,

arriving sometime at Key Biscayne.


 


If going there is what you want,

than say ‘go’ and take control.

‘Arriving’ is wishy-washy.


 


I ventured to say ‘I’d like to sail.’

Might there be something about sailing

that perhaps you fail to understand?


 


There you go again,

dithering around with ‘--ing’.

Use the action word, ‘sail.’

‘Sailing’ is a weaker word than ‘sail’.

Also, you don’t need to say ‘sometime’.


 


On that, there may be deliberations.

Most likely, there are considerations.


 


Sailing is a nuanced thing.

It is more that you are taken.

Although, it is true you tend to go,

actually, it really is a going.


 


Argh! Do you want to go or not?


 


Eventually, maybe somehow --

I’m thinking I will zig and zag

while experiencing a lot of tacking.

Maybe I’ll stop by Matheson’s Hammock

and find myself in a lazy snoozing.


 


Do you want to go to Key Biscayne or not?


 


What is it that you don’t understand about sailing?


 


Aaarrrggghhh


 

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