[Critique Group 1] Critques for December 2019

[Deanna Noriega]

Leonard,

I don't like flawless flat level, Perhaps flawless level plain? 

I liked the poem very much.

 

 

Sally,

I think you need a period instead of a comma after And gratefully remember
so that A cup of ginger tea is clearly a new thought.

I liked this poem very much.     

 

Cleora,

I liked the second one, because dapple means flecks of a different color
like in a dappled mare or either light or dark against a Different color
like dappled sunshine through leaves.

I think the word you meant was dabble. Enain is misspelledand should be
inane. In the second one, insain should be spelled as in the first
one,insane.

If you wanted these to be limericks, you need to have the first second and
fifth lines the same number of syllables and the third and fourth are
shorter. The first, second and fifth lines should rhyme with each other and
the third and fourth should also rhyme with each other.

 

 

Marcia,

Black cats are not supposed to cross your path, it is people who will have
bad luck if the walk under ladders. You did an excellent job of describing
her character. Perhaps you should mention the television program to explain
her name choice. I understood your ending to mean that it is through losing
loved pets that we learn how to accept the death and decline of loved ones,
but perhaps this could be made a bit clearer. The ending line was good. The
line before it though wasn't clear. Good essay.

 

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