[Critique Group 1] Critiques for 10-24-18

[Deanna Noriega]

Group1 10/244/2018

Leonard

Thou Shalt Not Write

I enjoyed the piece. I have no corrections or suggestions.

It seems in this time of extreme views, that any expression of a viewpoint
is almost impossible, political correctness and civility have crossed
swords, leaving no room for civil discussion.

 

Sally,

Letting Go and Holding On

I enjoyed this poem. It was poignant, and it felt true. I especially like
the lines referring to how your guide dog gives you an anchor or perhaps
lifeline in this difficult time. I too am finding my strength tested as I
also care for a husband indecline.

I didn't find anything that needed revision or additional work. Thank you
for sharing. I often use my writing as a way to deal with those things that
disturb my equilibrium.

 

Marcia,

Elephant Bones

Excellent prose poem. Yes Marcia, you do have poetry in your soul. Prose is
just as valid a form as is a sonnet or any other poetic form . I felt each
word was carefully chosen and the emotions you felt were easily understood.
No suggestions.

 

Cleora,

Bad to Worse,

You need a comma in 4183 between the four thousand and the one hundred and
eighty-three. 4,183 runes.

The first time you described the devestation left behind the fire, you wrote
chard, which is a green vegetable, as in swiss chard. It is spelled
correctly the rest of the time.

In the line where you say the bank of the pond coming up to quickly, you
need to use the too with two letter o's.

There were some errors in the introduction, but since it wasn't part of the
story, I didn't include them.

Your story is progressing nicely.

It still holds the reader's interest.

 

That's all folks! 

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