[Critique Group 1] comments for May from Cleora

[sitting.duck at springmail.com]

[comments for DeAnna
Kurt loved (past tense) has he passed away?
Maybe, Kurt's love for the outdoors...
I love the description of Michael inching away like a six foot caterpillar
I might have accidentally deleted the b but my copy has a "ox of pudding mix"
I like the imagery created by slithering back down the mountain.
I think you could leave the periods out of FBI
At the range. "if I weren't worried" should this be wasn't?

[comments for Leonard
If you will press spacebar before you press enter to start a new line, I think it will take care of the words that run together.
Did you give the robin a burial?
What about the robin's eggs.
"A word or "s" is missing in confirmed moment later"
either a moment or moments later
...shed, the distracting flight could be counted on. I looked forward to it, 
This seems awkward to me.
maybe, I looked forward to the distracting flight 
If you looked forward to it, you were counting on it.
reassuring about it
instead reassuring about momma bird...
I love the "no one stays home all the time" about the flight not happening every time.
Birds of prey are also suspect. 
You've already used also
maybe this time another possibility
I'm curious that the dog didn't eat the bird whether he killed it or not.
The speculation about what happened led me to think you eventually discovered what happened.
I was disappointed when you didn't.
Then It turns to a life lesson. I think it gets weak at this point. Too much time has been spent on what happened to the robin.
I think you could cut out most of the speculation, and just say you didn't find out. Then, go into the lesson from all this.
I didn't get this feeling the second time I read. Maybe because I knew it wasn't about the mysterious death of the robin.

[comments for Sally
This is  tender, reflective, short, and to the point.
I'm not sure if it is meant to be a poem, or flash literature. 
Either way, I can see an aging woman bending over, looking down at a dog with its head turned up to gaze with its eyes into hers.
It says a lot in just a few lines.
When I get to the end and "he rested his broad Labrador head" I wonder if there is a different word besides Labrador  that could be used.

[comments for Marsha
Considering that preschool to about third grade want to know what, but don't care who or why, this has elements I would not have expected.
When the cat was just a cat again, the rocks and stones ran over him. 
The trees and rocks were parading after him. Rocks & stones are sort of the same thing.
The dog tried to fly up the tree, but his teeth were not magic and he had no claws to climb like the cat so he barked and barked. 
Where is the connection between magic teeth and flying?
The cat claws open the trees lungs.
Since lungs require a diaphragm, Maybe the tree should have an air chamber rather than lungs.
This way, it could breathe by catching the wind.
Now we come to the tree coughing, which I can't see. I could believe the tree being allergic to the cat and sneezing.
The dog chased the cat into Zombie World, but the Zombie’s chased the dog since the cat was hiding. 
But, the cat was already in Zombie world. I don't follow this.
The Zombies gathered around the cat but the cat remembered he had magic teeth and flew back to earth and became a normal human again.
But, I thought the cat lost his magic.
Very strange.
It is wonderful that Quinton is able to work on putting something like this together. Since I don't understand or read a lot of the more modern stories for children his age, I can't really see how it compares, but certainly worth encouraging him. Perhaps some time, you can share something he did with us again.