[Critique Group 1] October Critiques

[DQ Noriega]

Marcia

Age Before Beauty

You need to change require to required

Change our signature to our signatures

Wwaving our right should be changed to waiving

Overtaken glee should use a different word, (tempered, overshadowed,
diminished)

I especially liked the last line's impact.Enjoyable, humorous, poignant. I
am holding you and your family in mmy thoughts upon the passing of your
mother. 

 

Cleora,

Go Greenish

 

I didn't like the title much.

Suggestions: Greenlight-Go! The phrase "It's my mother-in-law didn't make
sense to me. I think you should drop the last paragraph. It doesn't add
anything to the story. 

I liked the rest of the story.

Leonard,

Not Exactly A Guide Dog

Well written, good insight into the vaguaries of low vision. 

Sally Rosenthal

Loving LLawrence

This is a good intro or foreword to introduce your journal. Well written, 

I am assuming you will now start your journaling portion of the book. 

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