[Critique Group 1] submission for 9/14/16 critique session

[sitting.duck at springmail.com]

1,991 words
blind attention deficit disorder
by C. S. Boyd

I have Blind Attention Deficit Disorder. This is similar to Age Related Attention Deficit, but may afflict people of all ages who are visually impaired.

My yard man does a great job but I have to call him every time I need my yard mowed. I am blind, so the way I figure out if I need to call him, is to walk across the yard and see if I feel grass or weeds hitting my ankle. Sometimes, I ask one of my care givers, but, often I don't get a very definitive answer from them. I get things all the way from "I will have to look." to "Yes, I think so." Or, "I don't know, I'm not very good with decisions." One has to wonder how these people make it through life without a care giver of their own.

So, this morning, after asking 2 of my care givers over the space of the week and not getting a very definite answer, and because, believe it or not, I have other things beside the lawn to worry about, I forgot to call the yard man. Now, it's been 3 weeks so I figure it probably needs to be mowed. This worries me because the city has a nasty habit of sending me a little warning and threat of a $250 fine if I don't keep my yard in good shape. This becomes a problem because I only check my mail box once a week and so if the warning comes the day after I check, my grace period will be up before I can get the note and arrange for someone to mow my yard. The other possibility is that the post office will decide that it has been there more than 5 days (the longest time they will hold a special delivery piece of mail) and will send it back marked customer refused delivery.

Oh, by the way, I forgot to mention that I decided to water my foundation yesterday and when I happened to go out to the garage I heard water gushing and discovered that apparently my yard man’s 37 year old son that he has been having help him ran the lawn more over the end of my soaker hose and mangled the end so the cap that is supposed to be on the end is gone and the end of the hose where you screw it on is bent so I can't put a new one on it. When I discovered this, I also noticed that there was a clump of weeds and grass about up to my knees. Oh dear. Since my care givers didn't mention this little detail, I didn't call my yard man, and so it is too late to make arrangements now. Oh, by the way, my care giver was out in the garage at the time but it never occurred to her to mention to me that the water was gushing out. 

Now, back to my day. I was lying in bed after I woke up pondering what to do about the yard and the hose. It occurred to me that instead of getting one of my care givers to replace the end of the hose, I could kink it and tape the end down with electrical tape. I got up with this in mind and went out to the garage with the intent of executing this plan. Alas, I forgot the tape. Turning around, still worried about the yard thing, I decided to give my yard man a call. I don't expect he would come today but maybe I could get on the schedule for next Saturday. Finding his number, I called. I went to voice mail as I expected. I didn't leave a message. Then there was a rumble in my tumbly so I decided to check into some breakfast. On the way to the kitchen, I remembered that I didn't get the tape. Also, I considered that maybe I could just mow the little spot myself. So, I went out to the garage and found the lawn mower and electric cord and went out and found the end of the hose and moved it so I wouldn't run over it, plugged in one of the cords, got it plugged into my lawn mower, hit the button and was rewarded with the sound of the mower starting up. I moved toward the spot to mow, but when I got to the edge of the drive, the mower just tilted back like it was trying to go over a hill. I tried several times before I realized that the problem was that the cord was too short. So, I got a second cord and added that to the first. Now, I'm able to mow the offending spot. After a while I wondered if maybe there are other parts along here that need to be mowed so I ran the mower up and down the strip. Then, I decided to go down as far as possible along the side of the house. I got most of the way to the gate before running out of cord. Then, when I got back to the drive it seemed that my cord was tangled in my mower wheel and suddenly the mower stopped. Investigation revealed I had run over the cord with the mower. It was still working though. 
Then, I came back and wondered if there might be other spots in the yard. So, I spent about the next hour running the mower back and forth across the front yard. I listened for signs that the mower was laboring and also kind of tried to follow the cord as a guide to where I had been. I don't know what it looks like but maybe it is good enough to pass inspection.

I was hurting pretty bad by this time so I just pulled everything back into the garage and determined to wrap everything up and put it away later. I did find which cord I had cut with the mower and brought it in and draped it over the chair so I wouldn't forget. I put my clothes in the washer and took a shower.

I remembered I still hadn't eaten breakfast yet and so started on that quest again. Then I found the cord on the chair and decided to take care of it now. I carried it back to the bedroom and found the tape. Examination of the cord revealed that I had indeed cut it pretty bad. The insulation could be peeled back in one spot and there were some cut wires. I pushed them down as best I could and as I started to tape the cord, the phone rang. It announced the name and I could tell it was my yard man calling me back. With my hands full working on the cord, I let it go to voice mail. After taping the cord, I put the tape away and rolled the repaired cord up and took it back out to the garage. I got the other cord and rolled it up and put it away. I went back to the bedroom and checked my voice mail. Seems I did right by going ahead and mowing the yard myself. He left a message that his wife was in the hospital this week and to call him back and leave a message. I called him back and told him not to worry, I had taken care of the problem myself.

Now, I remember I’m hungry so I start back to the kitchen. I open a can of sardines and fix myself a cup of  tea and sit down in front of the TV to enjoy my breakfast.

After finishing my breakfast, I record my food consumption and activities in my Healthy Eating Journal and remember that I need to check the laundry. It is ready for the fabric softener.

In the garage I remember the hose and start back to find the tape. Then I remember I can’t do anything about the hose until my clothes finish because I am so fat I only have one pair of pants that fit. 

Then, I remember I forgot to take my pills. So, I start for the kitchen. On the kitchen table I find the box of bottles of Gluco Gel I received yesterday. Instead of putting them away, my care giver just set the box on the table. So, I put them away and hid back to the bedroom. Back in the bedroom, I remember I originally started out to take my pills. Back to the kitchen. I hear the washer stop spinning so I go out to put the clothes in the drier.

back to the bedroom where I remember that I still haven't taken my pills.

With every step I take, the inside of my right ankle and back of my right thigh scream in protest. Back to the kitchen. I find the empty box still on the kitchen table. I search inside and find wrapping material but no invoice for the order. I try to take the label off the box to maybe use it for an invoice. No luck. I finally take it out to the recycle ben and come back into the kitchen. Then I bump into the bag hanging on the stove where I put things that need to go to the recycle bin. It is very full so might as well get it out to the bin. As I dump the stuff in, I feel a plastic grocery bag. These people cannot get it into their heads that just because something is technically recyclable, it doesn't necessarily mean it should go in the recycle bin.
 I take it out, straighten it up and put it on the grocery bag pile and hang the other bag back on the stove handle.
back to the bedroom where I remember I still haven't taken my pills.
My leg is getting more and more sore with all this walking. Back to the kitchen where I manage to count out and take my pills.

Back to the bedroom. By the way, the program I was watching has been paused all this time.

I record taking my pills in my journal.

I need to get my clothes out of the drier. The towel is still a little damp so I bring everything else back. 

Ok, I've had breakfast, watched part of a show, carried some things out to the recycle bin, taken a stab at mowing the lawn taken my pills. I'm hungry again. I fix some Quinoa and Kale. 

I remember the hose. By now, I'm so tired and sore from all the running back and forth I no longer care. Maybe tomorrow or the next time I want to water the foundation, I will address the hose problem. Or, maybe I'll just see if I can get my care giver to do something about it next time he is here.

Better yet, the house isn't going to get any larger anyway so why water it? 

This is how you can spend the whole day working very hard to get something done and end up accomplishing pretty much nothing.

Now, why is this blind attention deficit?
If I weren't blind, I could see for myself that the lawn needs mowing. If I could see, I would have a gas mower.
If I weren't blind, I wouldn’t have a care giver to leave stuff on the table instead of putting it away. Also, the supplements I take are because of my eye disorder, so without it I wouldn’t have any pills to take. I would still get the mail late since I only checked it once a week when I could see.
So, you see, my attention deficit is because I can't see not because I’m getting old.