[Critique Group 2] Emailing: 3-31-22 Group-2-critiques

[James]

a
3-31-22 Group-2-critiques 

1. Alice's piece:

Truly a timely poem for the moments through which we are now passing.
Alliterative power using four words: prayer, precipice, peace and poetry. 
And with whatever may be going on, seeds are ready to germinate. 
I love this ending:
the indomitable spirits always choose
the sparkling wine of freedom.
 
Let us raise our teardrop glasses
and confetti prayers to
those of courage and honorable convictions
as we kneel 
at this precipice of spring, 2022.  
Doesn't get much better than that! 
***
2. Leonard's piece: 

"Sorrow's River" which works far better than "River of Sorrow." As screen
readers don't indicate specific homophones I was pleased to find "Mourning"
instead of morning though both images illuminate the piece. "Find out if
there are any returns." 
 Does sorrow enrich the soul? There is a line in Tolkien's writing that says
something like:
Though he will experience grief, it will not darken his heart, it will teach
him wisdom. 
Fortunately the wisdom that can come with experience, can be quickened by
joy and wonder as well as sorrow. 
***
3. Joan's piece:

Though it might not be intended so, this piece is like a rousing battle cry
of indomitability. All of us have had the odds stacked a bit higher against
us than many. But we prevailed and are still here by never  giving up. But I
can't help wondering if Joan has something else in mind that I am missing
completely.  
***
4. Valerie's piece:

A piece which can be referencing a divine presence or the ever presence of a
lost love or both. 
I have two structural changes which you may consider:
line 2 of stanza 3:
" that can only be reached"
And alter line structure in stanza 4 to:
Love present,
Soft, clear, remains 
flows in ribbons of silver light forever. 
  
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