[Critique Group 2] 12-29-22 Group-2 critiques.docx

[jamesstarfire at gmail.com]

12-29-22 Group-2 Critiques 

 

1. Joan's piece:

 

I really liked this piece on the first reading and even more after the
second. Some of my favorite lines:

"darkness has a way of seeping 

past layers of air and misty rain" and "but wait I hear amid the deepening

fog and drear of daily pain" 

We try valiantly to not despair in cold dark winter. But there is:

"fog and drear of daily pain" in spite of all our best efforts!

But perhaps, unlooked for the Winter Bird appears to bring us renewed hope.
I love it! Only one suggestion, consider capitalizing Bird in the title. It
is the essence of the message of hope. 

 

2. Valerie's piece:

 

A poem for the Christmas holiday. An often-sited amazement that a small and
fragile baby can be the beginning of the redemption of fallen humanity. It
recalls to me that song about the infant Jesus: "Mighty like a Rose." A
heart felt, very well executed and expressed effort.

 

3. Leonard's piece:

 

A very nice encapsulation of the changes in the thought process and verbal
expression as we humans age. Such happens in both conversation and also alas
when we compose written observations and ideas. Fortunately, the words
almost always return for recapture, at least so far! An accurate and
entertaining description of a perhaps inevitable, yet dismaying brain
phenomenon of our golden years. I do maintain that, some of it is due to the
hugely increased amount of data points that we need to keep track of in
today's overly complicated world. 

 

4. Alice's piece: 

 

Back in 2020, I did a presentation re the question of: where do poems come
from? In this piece, so beautifully evocative of winter, we see that it
comes from all aspects of the season. Poems can develop from: "the stinging
bites of sleet" and "within the whirl of a wintry wind." It is not found
just in: "the clear chimes of the cathedral" or "on the rosy cheeks of a
happy child." As poets, any single part or several parts of an experience
can inspire us. Perhaps that is the gift of the poet, that we are attuned to
all aspects of an experience and not just the pleasant ones. 

 

 

-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <https://bluegrasspals.com/pipermail/group2/attachments/20221229/92b0611a/attachment-0001.htm>
-------------- next part --------------
A non-text attachment was scrubbed...
Name: 12-29-22 Group-2 critiques.docx
Type: application/vnd.openxmlformats-officedocument.wordprocessingml.document
Size: 14539 bytes
Desc: not available
URL: <https://bluegrasspals.com/pipermail/group2/attachments/20221229/92b0611a/attachment-0001.docx>