[Critique Group 2] Joan's comments for May 27

[Joan Myles]

Joan’s comments for May 27

Alice: Poetry Confetti

Meaning: Playful musing about what verse brings us.

Love the idea of tossing verse from the garret window like confetti.

Feeling: Welcoming, playful, delightful.

Techniques; metaphor

Comments: The switch to food metaphor is confusing

How about using connector like...meanwhile…

The idea of poetry as celebration and nourishment is perfect!

Leonard: Septic Gnomes

Meaning: playful essay about septic tanks

Feeling: spirited romp into discovery; humor

Techniques: gnomes are escort into information

Comments: well done!

I envy your imaginary visitations!

Val: Farewell

Meaning: saying goodby is always difficult

Feeling:loving; ; nostalgia

Techniques: metaphors

Comments:

...as surely as Summer closes her bright door...beautiful!

...fabric woven in darkness andlight...fabulous!

...magic and wonder new...nice!

not sure what we are bidding farewell to, a season, a person, a band...but
it all works!

Brad: Future Tracks

Meaning: what is progress’s true price

Feeling: warning

Techniques: metaphors

Comments: :

...avalanche of random facts…great image!

the short a’s in these words roll at us like boulders

...wisdom or bewilderment...fabulous contrast!

the wa-wa in this pair of words is the internal questioning we need to
confront
-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://bluegrasspals.com/pipermail/group2/attachments/20210527/6fe88d71/attachment.html>