[Critique Group 2] Emailing: 9-24-20 Group 2 critiques

[James]

aCritiques for Group 2, 9-24-20 session 

 1. Joan's piece:

 I like this a lot! Yes, run before society and constant waiting for good
things ensnares you. Here in the US, we love to say how free we are. Some of
it is an illusion. The only ones who get to rule are those who can position
themselves to pursue public office and its power. True freedom, as
referenced in "Born to be wild" by Steppenwolf has been largely sacrificed
for the good of the many. This is not a bad thing. But we are not truly free
at all. So you go Joan, run and rejoice! 
***
2. Alice's piece:

What a superb piece! When humans rape the land for its natural resources
they often enlist animals to their barbarity. Writing this from the point of
view of a mine horse is unique and forceful as the message is delivered by
an innocent with no choice who was negatively impacted by greed and abuse of
the beautiful land.
Bravo! 
***
3. Leonard's piece:

When I was a little kid, I remember my dad commenting on a nature show: "It
is a very hard thing. In nature only the strong survive. It is the way of
the world!" I remember wondering if I would be strong enough. This was one
of those "loss of innocence moments." This very powerful poem brought me to
tears at the end. The line about "a single goose flying in formation" was
initially jarring but quickly resolved. I am not sure how to improve it
unless: "a single goose, flying solo in phantom formation." Just a thought.
Only Leonard could create genuine sorrow for the lowly and destructive
coyote. 
***
4. Valerie's piece:

The two great lights of the firmament. It is so understandable why many
cultures incorporated sun worship into their spiritual beliefs. If there are
any whom the sun doesn't ignite hope in their hearts, they have lost
something primal and so essentially human. In the Silmarillion, Tolkien
wrote memorably beautiful stories about how the sun and moon came into
being. This is an amazingly brief poem yet it captures the relationship
between hope and the sun and moon so beautifully. In today's days of sorrow
and madness, I dream of some sort of glorious sunrise to come. 
  
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9-24-20 Group 2 critiques


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