[Critique Group 2] Leonard's piece and reminder

[tuchyner5 at aol.com]

Hi group, Just reminding you that pieces are due today. Below is mine.



Bruised Ribs

 

Wandering  in myAutumn garden, 

I took a momentous misstep, 

stumbling over something unseen.

Only the blind couldn’t notice. 

 

A skid for dragging garden debris,

one with ribs and a pail of water,

lying beside a raised-bed wall.

I fell down hard on the rim and pail,

in the space of a shallow breath  --

was no way a controlled landing.

In fact, it was  aperfect crash.

pail or rim felt like a bludgeon,

striking my ribs with crushing force , 

in the left, forward and aft.

 

I thought I was certain to die. 

The pain was devastating.

My future appeared  discouraging.

After I was finished screaming,

I got to my feet shakily,

and felt like falling down once more, 

but managed to  catchmy breath --

a choice greatly preferred to death. 

 

Now all I had to do was heal.

I knew it would hurt more the next day,

and was not disappointed at all.

It wasn’t so bad as long as

I didn’t, laugh, cough, breathe deeply,

blow my nose, or move suddenly.

Slumber was not a great problem

as long as I didn’t move.

But for that, everything was  swell.

 

The third  day andnight were even worse. 

Then slowly the pain receded. 

I started moving normally

but still can’t sleep on my stomach.

About a week has gone by.

Far less discomfort all around.

I believe I’m really on the mend.

 

One factor is certainly clear. 

The role of the ribs is vital 

to every damn movement you can think of. 

 
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