[Critique Group 2] Leonard's comments on Val's sub.

[tuchyner5 at aol.com]

While you are sleeping, 

your brain sees  beauty. 

Vissual beauty. 

When you awaken  that all disappears. 

You seem startled by the remindersomehow

. It is interesting that you seeblack. 

Some people born blind, can’tconceptualize color, 

including black. 

So they literally see nothing.  

Therefore, the fact that you seeblack tells the reader  that you haveeyes that don’t function.  

I don’t know whether your dream lifeis a blessing, 

or a reminder that you can’t see. 

I suspect both are true.  

You also talk about the other senses

which are experienced in both thewaking state  and the sleeping state. 

I think dreams are  a blessing, 

even if you awaken to the dark. 

In fact, your ability to describethe beauty of the visual world is obviously enhanced by your dreams.

 

 

Val’s sub for Nov.

 

images

 

VM 11-11-20

 

 

 

Dreams flash bright images

 

to a seeing brain and dormanteyes...

 

 

 

Sky filled with determined geese,

 

clouds billowing like marshmallow,

 

butterflies and bees among newSpring flowers.

 

 

 

Warm rain sprinkles grass,

 

trees welcome soft breezes,

 

I am surrounded with light.

 

 

 

Life flows through vivid pictures--ablessed land...

 

 

 

until morning when I awake,

 

open my eyes

 

where there is solid black.
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