[Critique Group 2] Leonard's comments on Joan's piece for Oct

[tuchyner5 at aol.com]

Joan 

 

When I am Little

by Joan Myles

 

When I am little 

Again I climb up raindrops

 

A  difficult ting to do. 

I suppose you have to bevery fast. 

Actually, maybe you aredescribing climbing up above raindrops, where you can see the sun. 

In which case you couldconquer depression. 

You could find the sununder any circumstances, 

and even see it as anecessary foundation for raindrops, or depression, or part of any gloomyscenario.

 

Peek into sun-breaks

 

 

 

 

Ride my wind current

Pony through forests of time

To reclaim myself

 

You are able, whenyoung, to break the bounds of time. 

To go back to that timewhen you were unspoiled, when you were the most purely you. You have  to be as free as the wind to do that.

 

 

The eye is too small

For the sky to inhabit

Despite its gaping

 

The physical eye cannotsee the whole picture.  No matter howmuch it would wish so.

 

And hands twists blindly

Seeking after what I am

Already holding

 

The hand is too small to hold  all of what we are. 

But, we are already that which weseek. 

We can’t conceive of its immensitywith the eye or cold it  physicaly. 

We just are

.  So, forget about normal perception. 

We have to transcend  our faculties, and then we can’t describewhat we behold, when we glimpse it. 

Only in the state of mind ofabsolute innocence that perhaps we have  when we are newer than new.

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