[Critique Group 2] Leonard's comments on Alice piece

[tuchyner5 at aol.com]

Thispiece is marvelous. 

Itoo love the sound of the mourning dove. \

Itis soothing.  

Thoughit sounds very sad to me. 

Thepiece points out that it is time for you to come home to nature. That issoothing too, with everything Happening at a slower pace.

InKeeping with the pace of life. 

TheplaceYou live in now SOUNDS terrific. It even has a place of worship.  

Welcomehome.

 

Assoon as Willow and I walk outside

Tomeet the early June’s sunrise,

Wefind the dew, like my heart,

Isheavy.

 

*Stanza 2

 

Suddenly,I hear Mother Nature’s psychiatrist--

Themourning dove--

Withhis chorus of calming mantras,

“Coo-roo-coo-coo-coo.”

 

*Stanza 3

 

Inthe midst of all the world has to shout,

Inthe midst of the unfathomable pandemic,

Inthe midst of unbelievable grief for a cousin gone too soon and too tragically--

Itake the advice of the mourning dove

Andcalm, calm, calm--

Allowmy heavy heart to lighten

Inflight with the words and wings of the mourning dove.

 

*Stanza 4

 

Themourning dove I longed to hear for nearly three decades in the city,

butso rarely heard,

Nowso frequently sings to me, 

soothesme,

Remindsme of calm,

Pointsto a place of peace

As Iwalk with Willowto the wooden gazebo,

As Ipray at the top step of the chapel,

Aswe sit midst the geraniums on our front porch,

As Ieat in the sunroom,

As Ilie in my bed.  

“Coo-roo-coo-coo-coo.”

 

*Stanza 5

 

Attimes, as when I was much younger

Atmy Blanford home with woods to the south and north of me,

Iyearn to echo the mantra of the mourning dove.

Iknow he will hear and respond to my call.

However,only my heart makes the call;

Andalways,

Duringthese hard times,

 themourning dove is there--

Herefor me--

Justlike my dad

Whoalso loved the mourning dove,

LovedBJ and me.

“Coo-roo-coo-coo-coo.”

 

Numberof poetic lines:  40

 

June5, 2020, Friday

 

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