[Critique Group 2] comments for Valerie and Joan/July 23

[Alice Massa]

Installment #1 of two of critiques of pieces on July 23, 2020:critiques 
for Valerie and Joan--ladies, first!

1.Valerie’s poem “Father Love”

After reading this poem yesterday, I think I had to wait a day to be 
able to write some comments.Your historic-type account of the changes in 
your father’s behavior are compelling, heart-wrenching, hauntingly 
memorable.The progression of time and severity of hurt leave a deep 
impression on any reader.

The specificity and selected details become more chilling as one reads 
through these verses.

The turn your poem takes from the fear to the understanding of 
alcoholism is remarkable.The “gem” of which you write at the end of the 
piece reflects your stellar being, your gentle and kind spirit.I do hope 
that writing this poem was cathartic for you.

2.Joan’s poem” Hanging”

The repeated phrase “I can’t distinguish” is effective in this creative 
poem.

Connecting windows and watermelons with rain is the essence of 
poetry--good poetry.What a sweet touch that you included your grandson’s 
poetic phrase “soap bubble currents” in this poem.Seeing words and soap 
bubble currents as both floating away is delightful imagery.

>From the coupling of creativity, you turn to a triplet of images for the 
reader.What three choices you give the reader!Happiness, meteors, and soup!

What fun to make the connection of you, the poet, hanging upside-down 
from the branch of a tree in order to observe the world from this 
“hanging” position.

How I will look forward to reading this poem in your third book!The 
reader did not even have to recognize the “Haikus” used within the poem 
in order to relish the worth of this poem.

What a creative mind you have!Thanks for sharing with us this wonderful 
poem!

** Critiques of pieces by Brad and Leonard will come your way on or 
before Monday.

Stay cool and well!

Alice and Willow

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