[Critique Group 2] poem for critique session on January 30

[Alice Massa]

Good evening, Group 2 writer friends:


     Since none of you offered a critique of the poem which I submitted 
for the Sunday evening BOE meeting, moderated so well by our own Joan, I 
decided that with all the time I have given to the new computer system, 
I would use the same poem for my submission for January 30 critique 
session.  My poem is 301 words, and I hope you enjoy it.


* * *

Title of poem:*Sending Critique via Parachute*

by Alice Jane-Marie Massa

Eating a warm croissant

with huckleberry preserves

and listening to an old article

from THE WRITER magazine,

I finally decide how to do

the critique of your poem.

With delicate pastry and practical poetry in mind,

I realize that an overpowering bow and piercing arrow

cannot be the means for sending to you

my critique of your piece.

As the gently sweet huckleberries

stimulate my senses,

I think of tying my critiques with pink satin bows

onto a frosted elm tree in your frozen yard.

Oh, no!Too public!

Sipping my Downton Abbey herbal tea,

I ponder various other ways

of sharing with you

not only my suggestions for revision,

but also your strengths, flairs of creativity

in your poetic stanzas.

Although I want to stand and applaud

your unrhymed effort,

wish to give you a standing ovation--

my task ahead must be more thoughtful,

more useful, more realistic.

Thus, as a pillow of pastry

falls softly onto my holly-and-ivy plate,

I envision the answer before me:

a parachute!

Yes!Out and away from the power-driven plane,

the lavender parachute will deploy.

Gently, ever so gently,

my recommendations will ride slowly through the air,

shared with wise eagles

and the ever-diligent, harmless hummingbirds.

Each accolade will be

touched by a glistening star

as the positive points parachute to Earth.

A-ah, the landing, the landing is so important.

Despite the beautiful grace

of the parachute's mid-air descent,

the landing--

reuniting with ground control--

may be rough, quite jolting.

Even when wearing the best of boots,

even when aiming well for the target,

repeated landings on hard terrain

may cause back problems.

So, I do fervently wish you

a good landing with your poem.

May my critique facilitate

your poem's landing with a solid,

but not painful,

copyright and publication.

number of words:301


ajm321kh at wi.rr.com


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