[Critique Group 2] (no subject)

[tuchyner5 at aol.com]

Thisis a wonderful description of Grandpas House. In describing it, there is apicture painted of a life style .  




 



 


bit. It is now 300 words.



 



Grandpa’s House



By DeAnna Quietwater Noriega



 



The Texas sunset paints thewest with reds and orange. Five-year old feet in Patton-leather shoes tap upthe steps to the porch. The screen door squeaks and they tread the linoleum ofthe hall. 



Thelines up to this point are particularly artistic.



Tothe left is the big room with the fireplace. Grandma and grandpa’s room isthrough there and connects to the dining room beyond. To the right of the hall,is the locked door to daddy’s brother’s room. He drowned long ago.Next to theforbidden room 



Thisputs the story in a class by itself to casually mention that he died.



isthe room where Pedro, Grandpa’s ranch hand lives. The strains of his harmonicafloat out of there. Straight ahead, the bare boards of the screened porchbegin. This is where Grandma’s ringer washing machine and the basin for washinghands wait. The dining room is the first on the left with the door to thekitchen next and at the end of the porch is the door to the room with thetoilet. Ducks are gathering out the side door demanding corn. They come up fromthe lake which is where the water is piped for the hand basin, washer andtoilet. It also is pumped to fill the stock tank in the front yard. On hotdays, it is fun to splash and play in that concrete tank as if it is a swimmingpool.  Lace-trimmed socks are tucked into Sunday shoes, before they are droppedin the corner of the Living room. Small Apache feet glory in the freedom andare ready to scamper out to answer the call of the ducks, or to see if grandmaneeds them to run fetch a bucket of water from the rain barrel. The smell oftortillas toasting on the griddle and the slap thump of them being flipped androlled flat, drift from the kitchen.  



Thisbrings it into the present by telling what the children are expected to do , and all the things that go on in the house.



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