[Critique Group 2] Emailing: Critiques for 5-16-19 Group 2 Session

[James]

Critiques for 5-16-19 Group 2 Session 

1. Val's piece: 

When I first read this, the first thing I thought of was a poem called "A
Dream of Respite" that I wrote in early August 2018. It was the strangest
feeling like we wrote just about the same poem in different words from
different gender points of view. Anyway another hurting, searching, finding,
and even with some remaining partial resolution piece. Though there are many
excellent lines here; my favorite is: "gentle and refreshing as his eyes
teach
her a thousand kinds of silence." Another achingly beautiful poem in the Val
genre.  
***

Leonard's Piece:

When Leonard first posted this piece to the list I sent him the following
slightly edited comments which I still believe are relevant. However after
several rereadings I have an additional observation which I will offer after
the quoted earlier comments:
"
"an allosaurus on the attack." And yes, a pissed off goose or a pissed off
swan can both be quite intimidating. Probably of those who will read this
piece, only you and I might know what an allosaurus is. There is nothing
wrong with that. This is a very powerful nature piece which rightfully
laments humanity's casual indifference to the habitats of creatures that
have just as much right as we do to be living here on Earth. I seem to
remember a number of Leonard pieces which creatively describe water in woods
or marshes with ancient docks or peers falling apart around and leading
precariously into them. Do such vividly imprint themselves in your visual
memory? Great piece!"
What I missed initially was the contrast of the beaver lodge's destruction
with the goose basically communicating that he would die before sharing the
same fate.  This serves to make the piece even more powerful than I
originally realized. I raise a glass to the goose- and Leonard too.
***

3. Alice's Piece:

Here we have an instance of the poet speaking to her own poem. A whimsical
piece with superb use of alliteration. Many poets seem to feel that a poem
is never done; but just a work in progress. Though I do understand this, it
is not true for me. Only by finishing one can I go on to the next.  
*** 

4. Joan's Piece:

"Fringes" offer a great space to write about poetically. They are the end of
one thing after which another thing begins. They are like edges, borders and
shore lines. Is the illuminated single digit a finger reading a Brailed
prayer? I personally very much like pieces written in couplets.   
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Critiques for 5-16-19 Group 2 Session


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