[Critique Group 2] Leonard's belated comments for Abbie Sept.

[tuchyner5 at aol.com]

I haven’t a clue as to how to evaluate something thisbrief. It offers a very guttural image filled with sensory stimuli, most ofwhich are ghastly. There is a sense of retribution. A sense of lothing. A senseof anger. Strangely, not a sense of sympathy, more like yuk. The piece doesn’tfollow  the usual patterns ofcomposition, in that it is all in one paragraph which holds two quotes withquotation marks, but which are not separated into different parragraphs.

 

HALLOWEEN DISASTER In the fifth grade classroom, toplesspumpkins sit on desks. I stick my hands inside one, grasp slimy innards, as thestench fills the air. My stomach turns. “Please, may I go to the bathroom?” Iask. "I'm gonna throw up." “No,” the teacher says. My mouth opens.Soon, the pumpkin, table, floor, teacher are covered with my own innards. AbbieJohnson Taylor, Author http://abbiescorner.wordpress.com http://www.abbiejohnsontaylor.comabbietaylor945@gmail.com Order mynew memoir 

 
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