[Critique Group 2] poem for November 28, 111 words

[Alice Massa]

Thanksgiving Greetings to Group Two!

My submission for November 28 is a poem of 111 words--very short for 
me!Apparently, this poem did not win the adult poetry prize for the 
National Braille Press Poetry Contest.Of course, there must have been at 
least one better poem; however I have one question for each of you.Why 
is this poem not a "prize-winning" poem?What would make the poem 
stronger?(I will both paste the poem below and attach it.)

     The topic had to be the five senses, and the word limit was 150.


* * *

*Fugue in Five Senses*

by Alice Jane-Marie Massa

On stage, at the concert grand,

thanks to the braille music the pianist studied,

she smiles with joyful confidence

as her long fingers stretch over octaves

of cool ivory keys

that share warm melodious notes

with an audience, unseen beyond the spotlight

which smells of the heat of this solo moment.

Then, the applause bounces into her ears

as she bows

and takes into her talented hands

the comforting harness and leash

of her cherished guide dog--

her second sight--

that leads the pianist stage right,

where someone hands her

a fragrant, single, apricot-colored rose

and a chocolate raspberry truffle

to celebrate

her "Fugue in Five Senses."

* * *

A cornucopia of thanks and good wishes for a Happy Thanksgiving!

Alice

ajm321kh at wi.rr.com

November 21, 2017, Tuesday

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