[Critique Group 2] Leonard's submission for group 2 critique

[Tuchyner5 at aol.com]

Hi Folks, 
This is my submission for our meeting Tuesday after  next. 
One question I have is whether I should change the tenses  in all the 
verses to be the same tense, and if so, which tense should that be.  
I’m concerned that there is one image in the first verse  that might not be 
clear to those who did not grow up in small New Jersey cities where  curbs 
all have green medians between the curb and sidewalk. 
Other than that, just do your own things. I’ll try not to  get defensive. 
Leonard  
----- 
Child’s Play 
by 
Leonard Tuchyner  
As a kid I walked abyss ridge, 
discerned by some as a city curb. 
To me it seemed stretched to world’s end, 
though it stopped at the end of my block. 
A child’s fancy has no restraints. 
On each edge the curve was a cliff, 
just one misstep a plunge to death. 
We kicked a can on our way to school, 
each blow a banging burst of power. 
Every erratic bounce thwarts our course -- 
tardiness from school irrelevant. 
Whacking the can is more important. 
Avoid all sidewalk fractures and cracks -- 
each step measured for cadence and length. 
No stutter step or stumble allowed. 
The world is somehow better for that -- 
no particular reason, just is. 
Walk the rocky woodland path. 
Make each stride on rocky top. 
Contact not the trodden dirt  
between smooth bounces and bounds -- 
adds more to a simple trek. 
Watching dusty particles 
flittering, flying, skittering 
in light shafts cast through shadow, 
never coming to ground -- 
wondering how they do that. 
What happens when shades come down? 
Chase a diaphanous thistle seed 
winged with gossamer filament wings, 
born on the breath of a soft sweet sigh, 
gently flying through an azure sky 
to mysterious misty isles, 
where fairies, goblins and wild things 
 
cavort in a child’s  ever-after land.
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