[Critique Group 2] Emailing: The Long Awaited Quest--For Group 2, 6-27-17 critique session.

[James]

The Long Awaited Quest
C By Brad Corallo
Word count 600

After traversing the be fowled swamp and bog land; where they encountered
dangerous, sucking entrapping muck. Where constant swarms of loathsome
buzzing, flying biting insectsdrove them nearly to distraction. And they
moved among putrid smelling expanses of stagnant water which emitted a fog
like effluence that made eyes run and stomachs heave: they arrived at a
grey, stony waist land with mounds of old bones scattered about. Though a
cold damp wind swirled dust about their steps, the God forsaken place was
almost a relief after the bogs. They pulled scarves over their noses and
mouths and went on doggedly. 

They were an unlikely band of four. At the rear of the party trudged an old
woman. Though her hair hung in wisps and she bore many wrinkles her features
were set in an expression of determination and resolution. 

 Before her strode a beautiful young woman with long flowing auburn tresses.
Though she was attired in only a robe of many colors and sandals she seemed
unaffected by the wind and dust which swirled about constantly. Her
expression of immeasurable kindness never wavered. 

Their apparent leader was a thin, dark skinned boy dressed in beggars' rags.
Though he possessed only one arm, a sword and an ornate copper hunting horn
hung on a sturdy leather belt about his waste. At his side a young wolf with
startlingly intelligent blue eyes paced. He seemed to be finding their path
forward and the young man would lean upon him when the terrain became
difficult. 

And so, our rather unusual band of pilgrims came to the final desert. Though
each carried two large water skins on cords across their shoulders, there
were many leagues of burning sands before them. During the day the
relentless sun burned their bodies so that the icy cold nights were almost a
relief. They would huddle together in a tight group for warmth until the sun
rose and they had to go on.
 The times when they made their best progress were just before sunrise and
just after sunset.

 It took five days to cross the desert and they arrived at the mouth of a
lush green valley with crystal streams and small water falls flowing into
cool, clear, sparkling pools. When they beheld this vista of almost
inexpressible beauty, they stood as if turned to stone. Time seemed to stand
still!

Until, their leader took from his belt the copper, be jeweled horn and sent
forth a resounding blast. After he did so three times; a dark prominence
began to push upward out of the sward of green grass before them. With it
came a dark whirlwind and an aura of paralyzing terror. The three joined
hands and the young wolf pressed himself against the armless side of the
boy. In unison they proclaimed in loud ringing voices: "We have come!
Together we stand and deny the power of your evil forever. You are nothing!
You cannot stand against us! Be gone, and trouble this world no more; until
time itself comes to an end."

There was a flash and an almost inaudible wail, followed by a deafening
silence. Then softly at first, birdsong which seemed to come from
everywhere, slowly waxing filled the silence with a joyful music of serenity
and renewal!


This piece is dedicated to the memory of William Cates perhaps the greatest
English teacher ever. It was inspired by the many legends and tales of The
Dark Tower to which he introduced me. May the fall of The Dark Tower come
soon!

jamesstarfire at gmail.com  
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