[Critique Group 2] Critiques for February 21st

[Abbie Taylor]

Alice, to me, your piece would be more poetic if you cut out the family history and only included your conversation with the horse in your dream. Otherwise, it would work better as an essay. ⠠⠮⠝⠂ you could include more details. Either way, it's poignant and thought-provoking.

Val, I love your portrayal of friendship akin to sisterhood.

Brad, first of all, unless the midwife is making beds on a ship, you want to spell "birth" with an I instead of an E.

In this phrase, "there were those who swore Her countenancewas touch by hand," I think you want "touched."

The mayor of a town is spelled with an O, not an E. Otherwise, I like the way this poem portrays a sad truth.

Leonard, I love the way this piece shares a memory and a lesson you wish you'd learned.

Abbie Johnson Taylor, Author http://abbiescorner.wordpress.com
http://www.abbiejohnsontaylor.com
abbie at mysero.net
Order my new memoir at http://www.abbiejohnsontaylor.com/memoir.htm