<html xmlns:v="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:vml" xmlns:o="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" xmlns:w="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:word" xmlns:m="http://schemas.microsoft.com/office/2004/12/omml" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/TR/REC-html40"><head><META HTTP-EQUIV="Content-Type" CONTENT="text/html; charset=us-ascii"><meta name=Generator content="Microsoft Word 15 (filtered medium)"><style><!--
/* Font Definitions */
@font-face
{font-family:"Cambria Math";
panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4;}
@font-face
{font-family:Calibri;
panose-1:2 15 5 2 2 2 4 3 2 4;}
/* Style Definitions */
p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal
{margin-top:0in;
margin-right:0in;
margin-bottom:8.0pt;
margin-left:0in;
line-height:106%;
font-size:11.0pt;
font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif;
mso-ligatures:standardcontextual;}
span.EmailStyle17
{mso-style-type:personal-compose;
font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif;
color:windowtext;}
.MsoChpDefault
{mso-style-type:export-only;
font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif;
mso-ligatures:standardcontextual;}
@page WordSection1
{size:8.5in 11.0in;
margin:1.0in 1.0in 1.0in 1.0in;}
div.WordSection1
{page:WordSection1;}
--></style><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:shapedefaults v:ext="edit" spidmax="1026" />
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:shapelayout v:ext="edit">
<o:idmap v:ext="edit" data="1" />
</o:shapelayout></xml><![endif]--></head><body lang=EN-US link="#0563C1" vlink="#954F72" style='word-wrap:break-word'><div class=WordSection1><p class=MsoNormal>Sally’s March comments:<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Leonard: Good description of miserable weather and then the comfort of solitude in nature. Can something be “bitterly chilly?” Chilly is a bit warmer than cold, so can it really be bitter? Perhaps “cold” would be a better choice, even if it is a somewhat common phrase. I am not certain the line beginning “Sometimes” works as you mean it to work. It sounds as though all three forms of precipitation are happening at the same time. The period at the end of the same sentence should be changed to a comma since the next line beginning “Then” is just a phrase and not a sentence. What is “protected contentment?” The ending is wonderful!<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>DeAnna: There should be a hyphen between “cafeteria” and “style.” “Bus boy<br>“ should be “busboy.” The comment “At your service, Miss” needs to be set off somehow. Perhaps beginning a new sentence and saying that he said it would work. I initially wondered about the phrase “life journey,” but I decided I liked it. Delete “with” after “helping.” Your roommate seems to have taken advantage of your kind nature unless she was really elderly and frail. There shouldn’t be a period after “truck”; it should be a comma and lead into the following word. The sentence about becoming separated has “got” in it twice and needs to be tightened up a little. There should be a hyphen between “generous<br>“ and “minded.” I really like the tone of this piece. You are an example of generosity and kindness, and others return it. You show how we as blind people do need some help and how to ask for it without expecting people to do it all for us.It should be “Flynn and me” instead of “Flynn and I.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Cleora: The pasted copy was messed up, and I had trouble opening the attachment. I really liked this piece, but I think it should be tightened up a bit and made shorter – just as you wanted the ride to be. I got confused at times on the ride and in the medical building when both office doors were locked. I liked the timetable you keep mentioning; it shows how frustrated you are – along with the derogatory names for the caregiver. The irony is that she is anything BUT a caregiver. Parts of this story gave me the creeps, such as the debit card manipulation and the mention of the blue car. It shows how vulnerable you feel and are in certain situations. Very well done!<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Marcia: This is cogent and timely. Love the Rip vanWinkle comment! <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p></div></body></html>