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</o:shapelayout></xml><![endif]--></head><body lang=EN-US link="#0563C1" vlink="#954F72" style='word-wrap:break-word'><div class=WordSection1><p class=MsoNormal>Sally’s October comments:<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Cleora: When I read this article, it seemed to be split into two parts: the one about your experience and the one about the background of a roadrunner. The article would work much better if you incorporated the background information into the part about your experience. That experience is what you are really focusing on. In addition, the article ends abruptly and doesn’t have a main theme or point you want to share with readers.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>DeAnna: In the first line, there are three blank spaces after the word “whipped.” You mention “iris” as one of the flowers killed off, but, later Iris with a capital I is presented as a fairy. This is confusing, especially in a short piece. There doesn’t need to be a comma after the word “moonlight” but in the same sentence the M in Midsummer’s needs to be capitalized to match Eve. Overall, I thought this was aplayful presentation of an important topic such as habitat encroachment. I liked the interplay among animals, plants, and fairies. Good idea about the tennis ball and poison ivy, but why not personify the poison ivy?<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Leonard: I like the mysterious affinity to sailing. Do you need to use the word “toy” twice: i.e, “toy boat” and “toy store”? You might have been young, but you were shrewd and saw an opportunity to get your demand met even though you knew it was rude and could end in a spanking. I like the way your father joined into the sailing and was able to make an adjustment to keep your boat upright. This has a sense of wonder and childlike assuredness.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Marcia: I can’t recall reading the previous month’s chapter, so perhaps that plays into my confusion. This is a very busy and active chapter with almost too much going on all at one time, but maybe this is meant to mirror all the sights and sounds of the festival. I like the way the suspense builds. I want more!<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal> <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p></div></body></html>