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</o:shapelayout></xml><![endif]--></head><body lang=EN-US link="#0563C1" vlink="#954F72"><div class=WordSection1><p class=MsoNormal>Cleora:<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Misty final chapter<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>novella average 40,000 words<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p>meaning?: “I don't smell bacon cooking. Grandma Conner must be here.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Reword: Misty picked her cell phone up off the bedside table and saw that she had one message.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Try: Misty picked her cell phone up off the bedside table, anxious to see if the message she hoped for had arrived.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Reword: Finally it was over.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Try: Finally the meal was over.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Delete comma: I have all my credits, to graduate<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Try: I have all my credits to graduate<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Comma, not period: “Besides,” said Misty. “You were talking about having us together<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Try: “Besides,” said Misty, “you were talking about having us together<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Reword: Misty was right about her guess that the big package was a new ski jacket, Connie had given her bottle of her favorite perfume.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Try: Misty was right about her guess that the big package held a new ski jacket, and Connie had given her a bottle of her favorite perfume.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Her new jacket?: Misty went to her jacket hanging in the hall. She put it on and took the notepad out of the pocket.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Pronoun confusing: “I did it,” she said. “I really did do it.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Try: “I did it,” Misty said. “I really did do it.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Sally:<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Damage Repair<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Reword: A skillful urologist will put<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>My renal system into working order.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Try: I trust the skillful urologist will put<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>My renal system into working order.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Poignant/reword: <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Dare I request additional tests<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>To learn if the same could be done <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>For my shattered, sorrow-filled heart<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Try: Dare I request additional tests<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>To learn if the same could be done <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>To repair my shattered, sorrow-filled heart<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Leonard:<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>When Words Are a Barrier<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><span style='color:black'>Title: When Words Are a Barrier<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'>Try: <span style='color:black'>When Words Fail<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'>Reword: <span style='color:black'>When words stand against understanding, <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'>Try: <span style='color:black'>When words stand as a barrier against understanding, <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'>Good line: <span style='color:black'>Vexation expands like boiling water, <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'>Warm conclusion/avoid “gentle” 2X: <span style='color:black'><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><span style='color:black'>In the night, a tiny, gentle touch <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><span style='color:black'>begins the gentle process of healing. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Deanna:<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Getting a Guide Dog<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center'>Title: Getting a Guide Dog Over 70<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center'>Try: Getting a Guide Dog After Age 70<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center'><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center'>Reword: In July,<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center'>Try: This July,<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center'><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center'>Reword: He had escorted me from the car or para-transit into familiar locations.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center'>Try: He had only been escorting me from the car or para-transit into familiar locations.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center'><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center'>Reword: His pull was light and pace more of a saunter.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center'>Try: His pull was light and his pace more of a saunter.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center'><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center'>Delete comma: would be like learning to dance with a new partner, who was taller or shorter.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center'>Try: would be like learning to dance with a new partner who was taller or shorter.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>reword: She might forget to keep focused on guiding if another dog approached.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Try: She might forget to focus on guiding if another dog approached.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Reword: New dog might sniff, scavenge, or eagerly greet everyone.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Try: A new dog might sniff, scavenge, or eagerly greet everyone.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Great line: Meeting a potential new guide dog is like being a mail-order-bride, or the ultimate blind-date.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Hyphenate: mail-order bride<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>reword: I did those things and as a result was matched<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>try: I did my part and, as a result, was matched<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>insert dash: two Year-old<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>try: two-year-old<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>insert conjunction: research programs that train them.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Try: and research programs that train them.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Delete “then”: Then, as long as you are in reasonably good helth,<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Try: As long as you are in reasonably good helth,<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p></div></body></html>