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</o:shapelayout></xml><![endif]--></head><body lang=EN-US link="#0563C1" vlink="#954F72" style='word-wrap:break-word'><div class=WordSection1><p class=MsoNormal>August comments from Sally<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>DeAnna: There are many good points made in this piece, both from personal experience and from basic rules of guide dog training. A few aspects, however, concern me. For whom is this article written? At the beginning, it seems like a personal essay, but, as it ends, the author addresses an audience “you.” Is this memoir, information, or a combination? From personal experience with three dogs from the specialized training program at Guiding Eyes for the Blind, I would suggest exploring programs that target people with multiple disabilities, ones who need a slower dog, and people who need a dog to travel short routes safely. As blind people of all abilities age, more schools are coming up with special or individualized training. One last thought: you refer to two-year-old Flynn as a “puppy” which could be misleading to some readers. Overall, a good look at how we as handlers change over the years.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Marcia: When I read this chapter, it struck me as an interlude in the story, one filled with too many references to the character’s wealth and the grandeur of her surroundings. Does this chapter tie in with future events in a way not yet known to the reader? The cab and hotel costs are a good reminder of the time period; are they factually accurate? The “$6.00 a minutes” would work better as “$6.00 per minute.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Leonard: I love this poem. It strikes me that a poet finds words being his enemy; what a conundrum! In the third line, there is an extra space between “the” and “further.” The brevity of the second stanza as opposed to the first stanza is a good contrast between the heightened emotions of anger and the calm of reconciliation. In the second stanza, you use the word “gentle” twice. Perhaps eliminate it in the last line since healing is inherently gentle.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Cleora: Congratulations on reaching the literary finish line! Do you have a final word count? This story could be a young adult novel. You mention that the alarm clock says it is 10:07, but the girls go downstairs and almost immediately have Christmas “dinner.” Eben if you call it “lunch,” it is still very early to have that big meal. I like the solutions the girls have come up with and the grandmother’s parts in their future, but the story seems to speed up too much in the last section. You are tying up loose ends, but they need to be fleshed out more. The ending is a bit abrupt. Could you add a little more to make it happier and tie it in to the relationship between Misty and Ginger? Otherwise, good work! <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p></div></body></html>