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</o:shapelayout></xml><![endif]--></head><body lang=EN-US link="#0563C1" vlink="#954F72"><div class=WordSection1><p class=MsoNormal>Leonard<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Lazy Day<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='color:black'><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><span style='color:black'>Tense changes from past to present: As Sun rises and temperature climbs,<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><span style='color:black'>wind fails to fill the vessel’s sails.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><span style='color:black'>Try: As the Sun rose and the temperature climbed,<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><span style='color:black'>wind failed to fill the vessel’s sails.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='color:black'><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'>Love it!: <span style='color:black'>Sails are slack yet time moves forward. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><span style='color:black'>Time has all the time it ever needs, <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='color:black'>and I have untold time to reach my home.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Cleora<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Chapter Six<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Avoid “it”: But, how was she going to do it?<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Try: But, how was she going to help the last name on her list?<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Delete “continued to”: Misty continued to stare at Ginger in bewilderment for a few seconds,<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Try: Misty stared at Ginger in bewilderment for a few seconds,<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Needs explanation: looked at the last name. She gasped. It was Connie Parker.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Try: looked again at the last name. She gasped. The name that had been blotted out slowly reappeared. It was Connie Parker.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoPlainText>Delete “up”: She looked up at Ginger. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoPlainText>Try: She looked at Ginger. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Spelling faery – also isn’t finger thing Misty’s?” With that, the faery put her finger beside her nose and flipped, and Misty found herself standing just outside the kitchen door. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Period or semicolon: “Misty will come home eventually, I'm more concerned about the fight they had.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Try: “Misty will come home eventually. I'm more concerned about the fight they had.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoPlainText>Need only opening and closing quotation mark: “Dear Francene,<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>“I overheard Mom on the phone…<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoPlainText>Try: “Dear Francene, I overheard Mom on the phone. Mom and Dad don't want us anymore.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoPlainText><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Insert period: I think they are old enough to have something to say about this”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Try: I think they are old enough to have something to say about this.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Comma, not period: she looked up and smiled at John. then spoke to the phone.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Try: she looked up and smiled at John, then spoke to the phone.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p></div></body></html>