<html xmlns:v="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:vml" xmlns:o="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" xmlns:w="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:word" xmlns:m="http://schemas.microsoft.com/office/2004/12/omml" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/TR/REC-html40"><head><META HTTP-EQUIV="Content-Type" CONTENT="text/html; charset=us-ascii"><meta name=Generator content="Microsoft Word 15 (filtered medium)"><style><!--
/* Font Definitions */
@font-face
{font-family:"Cambria Math";
panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4;}
@font-face
{font-family:Calibri;
panose-1:2 15 5 2 2 2 4 3 2 4;}
/* Style Definitions */
p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal
{margin:0in;
font-size:11.0pt;
font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif;}
span.EmailStyle17
{mso-style-type:personal-compose;
font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif;
color:windowtext;}
.MsoChpDefault
{mso-style-type:export-only;
font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif;}
@page WordSection1
{size:8.5in 11.0in;
margin:1.0in 1.0in 1.0in 1.0in;}
div.WordSection1
{page:WordSection1;}
--></style><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:shapedefaults v:ext="edit" spidmax="1026" />
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:shapelayout v:ext="edit">
<o:idmap v:ext="edit" data="1" />
</o:shapelayout></xml><![endif]--></head><body lang=EN-US link="#0563C1" vlink="#954F72" style='word-wrap:break-word'><div class=WordSection1><p class=MsoNormal>April 27<sup>th</sup> Critique Session<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Cleora,<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>There was no title—on the version I received.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>No need for the comma after ceiling.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>No need for the comma after problem.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>When Misty thinks, there should be some sort of markers to indicate her thoughts.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Use a semi-colon instead of the period after (thought).<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>(walking beside her) is confusing. It sounds as if the cane is walking beside Misty or the woman. Perhaps A woman walking beside the speaker replied, You don’t indicate if the first speaker is male or female, so you could have either one walking with a cane but phrase it using a support cane. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>(What is he doing here), needs a question mark<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>(Frowning, The nurse set the tray on the table. The word (The) before nurse, doesn’t need a capital letter.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>(she put the tray down) needs to be deleted, as she already put the tray down in the previous sentence.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>You need to change the comma after Christmas to a question mark.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>I liked this beginning to this part of your book. It would be a great one to finish and get published for a Christmas book release. You posed lots of clues and questions. This is looking to be a tighter more focused book than the duck adventures tale.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Marcia,<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Workplace Rivalry<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>(Drowning, Claudia?”) only needs one set of question marks and closing quotes.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>It’s fun catching your occasional typo, makes me feel better about my own!<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Moves the story along with a touch of threat.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Leonard,<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Did you intend this to be the account of a suicide by drowning?<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>I liked the peacefulness of the first part. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>The imagery was lovely. There was a bit of confusion about whether it was nightfall with the moon, mists or twilight. Take a look at the lines and see if you could perhaps start with twilight, proceed to moonlight and have the mists come last as if the rose as the night proceeded.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Sally,<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>When you describe the colors of the roses, shouldn’t the reds be singular to match the other colors you mention?<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>I am not sure, but there appears to be a space between pines and perhaps a comma followed by a space and the word I. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>My favorite poet strikes again, presenting a perfect word photo of a particular scene. Brava<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal> <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>DeAnna Quietwater Noriega<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Cell: 573-544-3511<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Email: <a href="mailto:dqnoriega@gmail.com"><span style='color:#0563C1'>dqnoriega@gmail.com</span></a><o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Author of <i>Fifty Years of Walking with Friends<o:p></o:p></i></p><p class=MsoNormal><i>https://www.dldbooks.com/dqnoriega/</i><o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p></div></body></html>