<html xmlns:v="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:vml" xmlns:o="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" xmlns:w="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:word" xmlns:x="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:excel" xmlns:m="http://schemas.microsoft.com/office/2004/12/omml" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/TR/REC-html40"><head><META HTTP-EQUIV="Content-Type" CONTENT="text/html; charset=us-ascii"><meta name=Generator content="Microsoft Word 15 (filtered medium)"><style><!--
/* Font Definitions */
@font-face
{font-family:"Cambria Math";
panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4;}
@font-face
{font-family:Calibri;
panose-1:2 15 5 2 2 2 4 3 2 4;}
/* Style Definitions */
p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal
{margin:0in;
font-size:11.0pt;
font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif;}
span.EmailStyle17
{mso-style-type:personal-compose;
font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif;
color:windowtext;}
.MsoChpDefault
{mso-style-type:export-only;
font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif;}
@page WordSection1
{size:8.5in 11.0in;
margin:1.0in 1.0in 1.0in 1.0in;}
div.WordSection1
{page:WordSection1;}
--></style><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:shapedefaults v:ext="edit" spidmax="1026" />
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:shapelayout v:ext="edit">
<o:idmap v:ext="edit" data="1" />
</o:shapelayout></xml><![endif]--></head><body lang=EN-US link="#0563C1" vlink="#954F72" style='word-wrap:break-word'><div class=WordSection1><p class=MsoNormal>Sally <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Jelly Beans<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Gentle poem of sorrow in advance.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>A daughter’s love expressed in pastel sugar. A wish to honor a father with something that would mean more to him than flowers. Beautiful, poignant captures feelings well as always.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Leonard,<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Old Maggie Magnolia<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>She already existed, perhaps change to survive.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>You need to bring us up to date before ending. Did she recover, or did the tears and broken canopy remain and worsen to her current state. You only have one line for the portend of her death, so that could be expanded with what has led to her current sad state. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Cleora,<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Chapter 3.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Perhaps I missed something last month. Why is Misty invisible? When did that happen?<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>“You’re not going to kill him,” should either end with a question mark or a period, depending on how Joe said it.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal> (began to pushed) Leave out the (began to) and I think it will work.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>I think the structure is a bit awkward with the second robber not having a name. Perhaps you could have Joe say his name when he asks about killing the boy.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Drop the suddenly and say the second man awoke or woke up.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Or jerked awake.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Neckless should be spelled necklace.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>How did the robbers get to the station? They obviously weren’t put in the police car with the boy.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>He didn’t find the poster, he saw it.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>The ending sounds like the family isn’t very fiscally responsible. No thought is made of doing something less transitory than eating an overpriced meal. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Misty completed her task of saving the boy. If he is the one she overheard in the previous chapter, perhaps his father or sister might identify him by name in that chapter, thus taking care of the awkwardness of constantly refering to him as the boy. . What next?<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Marcia<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Open House<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Publicized for month…”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>This should be either months or a month, depending on how long it was publicized.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>“Oh, y I see. (Is the letter y a typo or supposed to designate a vocalization to fill a pause while Michelle regroups?<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>I think you added a lot more information about the furniture company’s market here which makes this scene better. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Good work everyone!<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Hugs,<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>DeAnna Quietwater Noriega<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Cell: 573-544-3511<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Email: <a href="mailto:dqnoriega@gmail.com"><span style='color:#0563C1'>dqnoriega@gmail.com</span></a><o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Author of <i>Fifty Years of Walking with Friends<o:p></o:p></i></p><p class=MsoNormal><i>https://www.dldbooks.com/dqnoriega/</i><o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p></div></body></html>