<html xmlns:v="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:vml" xmlns:o="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" xmlns:w="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:word" xmlns:m="http://schemas.microsoft.com/office/2004/12/omml" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/TR/REC-html40"><head><meta http-equiv=Content-Type content="text/html; charset=us-ascii"><meta name=Generator content="Microsoft Word 15 (filtered medium)"><style><!--
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</o:shapelayout></xml><![endif]--></head><body lang=EN-US link="#0563C1" vlink="#954F72" style='word-wrap:break-word'><div class=WordSection1><p class=MsoNormal>Sally:<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>I noticed you haven’t titled this one yet. Perhaps Susquehanna would work. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>I don’t see any places I would change. Melancholy but with a sense of flow, like the river. The spirit moves on while it appears to stand still.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Marcia<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><a name="OLE_LINK4"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif'>Doe Lake Part 2 draft1</span></a><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif'><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal>I like the snappy rhythm of this chapter. You have managed to change the whole narrative flow. It is quick, slightly superior in tone and fits Veronica’s sharper, quick, arrogant personality. Claudia is softer, less confident, mildly self deprecating in the chapters where she is the viewpoint. I think she is also kinder. Good contrast.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Leonard,<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Cold Little Bird<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>I loved this piece. It reminded me of a day when my younger daughter was passing through the green house that led out of the back door to our kitchen to find a hummingbird darting around trying to evade one of our cats. That cat had been trying to teach a rescued kitten how to hunt by bringing in bats, garter snakes and mice, letting them go for the kitten to catch. The exterior door to the green house and the back door to the kitchen both had cat doors in them. My daughter’s Ojibwa name is hummingbird. She reached out to the tiny bird wwith an open palm. The tired bird flew to her and she was able to open the exterior door and walk outside to release the tiny passenger resting on her hand. I think that animals do understand when you don’t intend to harm them. Then again, perhaps Hummingbird recognized hummingbird girl.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Cleora<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>I never found your submission. I will certainly write a critique if you resend it to me.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Sorry,<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>DeAnna Quietwater Noriega<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Cell: 573-544-3511<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Email: <a href="mailto:dqnoriega@gmail.com"><span style='color:#0563C1'>dqnoriega@gmail.com</span></a><o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Author of <i>Fifty Years of Walking with Friends<o:p></o:p></i></p><p class=MsoNormal><i>https://www.dldbooks.com/dqnoriega/</i><o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p></div></body></html>